(Closed) Future sister in law is awful, any way to NOT make her a bridesmaid?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think that if you’re fiance wants her in, you may have to compromise (or at least hash it out with him). If he doesn’t care, or would agree to her singing, I don’t see any reason you’re obligated to make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 5
Member
14480 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

So this girl is your fiances brothers so to be wife??

How to not make her a bridesmaid – easy, dont ask her to be one.  End of story.  6 close friends is more than enough for a bridal party.  Its not up to your Fiance to decide who is standing up with you….

Post # 7
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think having her sing is the perfect solution!  She’ll get to be in the spotlight for 2-3 minutes and you dont have to deal with her!  Go with it!

Post # 10
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sunangel08:  

but my Fiance thinks since she asked me…i have to now…


I don’t think this is strictly true (she has to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in your wedding because you were one in hers), but I do think that if my fiance were going to be legitimately *upset* that I didn’t include someone, I would take that into consideration (or if it would cause a rift in the family). But that’s just me. If he’s just doing it because he thinks it’s proper etiquette, I would ensure him that it’s not. 

Post # 11
Member
14480 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@sunangel08:  Nope… just because she asked you, doesnt mean you have to ask her.  Just because someone invited you to their wedding, doesnt mean you have to invite them either.  The other two people in her party is her sister and her brothers Girlfriend… you said so yourself, she does not have many female friends.  You’ve never even met her in person??  If she had more (or it sounds like any) female friends, do you really think you would have been asked (sorry if that sounds mean).  

Post # 12
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Don’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. You don’t pick who your fiance chooses to have stand with him, so he doesn’t get to decide who you have stand with you. If he insists on having her included, she can stand on his side.

Post # 14
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think asking her to sing is a great way to include her without making her your bridesmaid. After all, the long distance thing would make it hard for her to be at “bridesmiads functions”, and there’s always the fact that you haven’t met her yet! I wouldn’t never ask someone to stand up for me who I hadn’t met in person at least once. 

Post # 15
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Just because she asked you doesn’t mean you have to ask her.  End.

Post # 16
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Nope, being a Bridesmaid or Best Man in someone’s wedding does not mean they have to be in yours. I’m having two MOHs- Shari & I were BMs in Alli’s wedding, Shari didn’t have us in hers-just her 2 sisters.

Has Fiance considered having her stand on HIS side? I much prefer having her sing, though.

The topic ‘Future sister in law is awful, any way to NOT make her a bridesmaid?’ is closed to new replies.

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