- 10 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
I’m here to get some advice, and if you think I am being unreasonable, please tell me.
I moved to South Dakota, from downtown Chicago last October. My fiance is a pilot and took a deployment position in Afghanistan to do some stuff for the government. I’ve basically been here alone the whole time, and my fiance just came back two weeks ago. I live about 1 1/2 hours from his parents, and a little over 2 hours away from his sister and her family. I have absolutely no family here and have been trying to get by and live a normal life while he has been gone.
His sister has randomly showed up at my work and literally invited herself over to our house to spend the night, the day of……. I even had an incident once where we were going to carpool somewhere and I asked her to call me when she got to my house, because I was just going to change and run down. While I was changing, and naked, she let herself into my house and didn’t call me to let me know she was there. Yeah…….
So……. A couple days before my fiance comes home from Afghanistan she sees I am on Facebook and starts chatting with me. She mentions something about coming down before he comes home, making food, decorating our place, etc. My fi and I had talked about this —- It takes over 2 days flying to get home, he will not have showered for 3 days, hasn’t had a haircut for 4 months, and honestly, we just wanted some time to reconnect as a couple as our communication back and forth was pretty crappy due to bad internet connections and short phonecalls here and there. So, I, in the nicest way possible told her that he told me that he didn’t want to see anyone that day and that we would be coming out to their neck of the woods the following weekend to have family time. I was really anxious because she’s basically invited herself over (came over some of the times or not) right when he comes home. And that pissed me off before, too. So, my fiance calls from Afghanistan and I give him a warning about his sister. He assures me that he will call her and tell her that he doesn’t want to see anyone. So, he does, and tells her in the nicest way possible that he won’t be in the mood to socialize with the jet lag and time differences.
He comes home on Memorial Day. I’m nervous, and excited and can’t wait to see him. It is the moment we have been waiting for months upon months. I’m dressed in a kind of short dress and am a little hoochified. My man hasn’t seen a woman in months – I want to look good for him.
When I park at the airport, I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about his sister. I decide to wear my jacket over my hooch dress and go sit in the waiting area in the airport. I look around, and no one is there. I still grab my cell phone and leave a message with my best girlfriend in Seattle, telling her that I think I am going paranoid because I am afraid his sister will show up.
Literally 2 minutes after I hang up the phone, his sister, her two 8 and 10 year old daughters, her husband and my fi’s parents all show up. No one bothered to call me and tell me they were coming, let alone ask me.
I was so upset I could barely speak or look at anyone. When my fiance came through the security doors, our moment, the one I had been waiting for these months upon months while everyone else’s lives went on was ruined. He went to kiss me, and I pulled back. I couldn’t hold him or kiss him the way I wanted to.
We ended up fighting in the car and going to lunch with them. After that, we went home. I was upset for days, but tried to forget about it since we were going to spend the whole weekend up there with them in a few days.
When we got up there, his sister made some sort of snide comment saying that she decided they were going to show up that day — that she’d called my fi’s uncle and asked him to come, and he said that he wouldn’t do that and didn’t think it was a good idea and she said (word for word), “No one is going to tell me not to see my brother.”
At that point in time, I decided she was a total b. I can’t stand being around the family anymore, hate that my fi is going to deploy again and will be gone for another 6 months……. I just want to go home and be around my family (Wa State).
I don’t know how to deal with this situation. Advice? Am I letting things get to me too much? There are a bunch of other things she’s done and I could write for days on it, but this seems to be the most hurtful.