Post # 1
I’m officially a waiting bee but my future Fiance and I are planning to get hitched this fall.. Which means I need to think and pre-plan the wedding before the proposal!
We are going to have a close friends/immediate family only wedding with a headcount of around 40, max. 50. I want to have my sister and a best friend as maids of honor (there is a possibility of my sister not being able to attend the wedding, she lives overseas and she’s trying to start a family with her hubby)) and my 2 other really good friends as bridesmaids. What I’m wondering is, my future Fiance to be has two older brothers, one who is married and one who has a live-in SO. So, do you think I need to ask them in the bridal party? I wanted to keep my bridal party small.. Both brothers are going to be my future FI’s best men, and I want to ask their 4-year-old daughter (my FI’s niece) to be a flower girl. I am not super close with the future sister-in-laws but maybe this would be a good opportunity to get them involved and build a relationsihp?
Thanks for reading and I would appreciate any comments from my beautiful fellow bees!
Post # 3
Nope, you do not need to include them. Are you close? Are you having any readings at the wedding? If you want to include them maybe you can have them read.
My DH’s brothers wife wasn’t in my bridal party. We get along great but we’re not close. I’m sure there will be no hard feelings especially if you’re having such a small affair. They will understand!
Post # 4
@peachlavendergold: I would base your decision on 2 factors. The size of your wedding, and the age of your future sisters. For one, they will understand if your having a small wedding why it might be unfitting to have an extra large bridal party. Second, asking is also asking a task of them which might be a burden id they are older and have busy lives. If you were to keep it small, they might appreciate that you didnt ask just as much. they’ll get it
Post # 5
Thanks for the reply! I think I would have definitely asked if my future Fiance had sisters but since they are not blood-related I thought they would be ok with not being super involved in the wedding.. Yes maybe I can ask them to do other activities.
Yeah they are older, and one is a medical resident (super busy) and the other is a mother of 2 toddlers. So they might actually be happy with me not asking… Thanks for the help!
Post # 6
Unless you’re really close to them, no, but I’d try to involve them in some way, like a reading – as PP suggested. My FI’s sister is a mom, and her daughter is going to be the flower girl – but since she’s only going to be 18 months old, sis is going to walk with her down the aisle and be listed as a guest of honor.
Post # 7
@peachlavendergold: I think as a med resident and with little ones, they’ll be thankful to not have to do the bridesmaid gig. If there’s a reading they could do, that would be nice — in the meantime, if there’s a chance to do some bonding stuff with you, that would probably be cool. Go out to lunch, or email them with something you found that reminds you of them, etc. Ask if they’d like to come along for doing nails and hair on the day, if that’s something you’re planning. But no, I woulnd’t sweat it, as long as they aren’t the weird resentful type.
Post # 8
Don’t ask anyone out of obligation. Only ask them if you absolutely want them to stand up for you and you have a great relationship with them.
Post # 9
I say nope. My SO has a sister, but we’re not close at all. I’ve actually only spoken with her a couple of times, and it was awkward. I’m not asking her because, frankly, other than her being his sister, she’s a stranger to me. It would just feel weird for her to be up there, especially since he’s not close to her at all. IF we involve her in the wedding, she’ll most likely play the piano when I walk down the aisle. That’s a big IF too. She may not have any part to play, which I think would be perfectly fine her. If you feel that your bridal party is already large enough, or you’re not that close, don’t ask them. Maybe you could just work on getting closer once you’re married and it doesn’t feel obligatory