(Closed) GAHH My Husband Made Me So Mad! (Long sorry)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You aren’t overreacting, it was harsh of him to use something you find upsetting just to make you feel bad when you aren’t doing anything wrong. Just make sure he understands why you are upset, it seems like maybe he doesn’t realize you are really upset since you sleep on the couch anyway sometimes (I know when I pretend to not be upset and then later freak out my Fiance wishes I would have been straight with him in the first place)

Sorry honey!

Post # 4
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Maybe its his time of month?

Seriously tho… He maybe having something stressful on his mind or feeling unhappy but not communicating effectively. I wouldnt take it personally.. Try being sweet and concerned and asking if there is something up at work or with friends – dont make it about you because it probably isnt.

*hugs* Everything is ok.

Post # 6
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry! Squabbles like this do stink It is best to take a deep breath and when everyone is level headed, talk it out !

It’s nice that your husband wanted to spoon with you, men are very phsyically expressive and In my opionon its his way of saying sorry and wanting to forget about it. It also seems like your husband wants dedicated time with you!

Remember, that its best not to let the sun go down on your wrath! aka don’t go to bed angry with each other πŸ˜‰ Cherish every moment. If something were to happen to him, you would long and wish for just one more night of spooning or what not. I know it sounds corny and overboard for you situation, but both my husband and I’s mothers were widowed and they always express how precious life is together. Let the small things slide!

 

Post # 8
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I dont think you are overreacting. he should not have said that about your mom. However, I can relate to how he feels about the laptop thing. Darling Husband and I are usually in seperate rooms (him in his office and me in the living room/kitchen). In the unusual times that we are in the living room together watching TV or a movie he has to have his laptop out doing other stuff. If we decide to watch a movie or TV together I want to do that. I dont want to do that by myself while he plays on his laptop. Its extremly annoying. This used to cause fights between Darling Husband and I. Honestly, he wont stop so I just get over it.

So, I can relate to how yoru SO feels. And it is actually really sweet that he feels this way. He wants your attention, he wants to do things with you. Try to remember that. He still should not have said that since your moms case though. That was wrong… I am sorry that he said that. When I get so upset that I cannot sleep I usually take some melatonin or have a glass of wine and than go to bed when I cannot stop fighting sleep. Def dont go lay in bed mad, it will make you even more mad! Good luck honey! I hope you guys talk about this in the AM. 

 

Post # 10
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@emilygrace07:  yeah, its probably best to wait until the morning…

Post # 11
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It seems like there is something else bugging him. Perhaps, though he was tired, he felt left out about not joining you at the screening. Perhaps there is another reason he was tired. From what you say, it sounds like he really wants to be involved together with you in, experiencing something with you where you’re both focused on the same thing and commenting on it together, even if it is just watching tv together as opposed to doing separate activities in the same room. I do think it was uncalled for when he make that snide remark comparing you to your mother, but I think his comment was rooted in something else and it is worth getting to the bottom of it.

I know my Darling Husband and I can get our signals crossed when we’re involved in separate activities. He’ll be doing one thing, I’ll get on the computer waiting for him, then he will get on the computer for me, and before you know it we’re both so involved in our separate things that we’re not communicating with each other “hey, I’m waiting for you” and then we’re upset at one another. Silliness, but it happens. So sometimes just reaching out to the other and saying what you’re doing and why helps.

Last, I don’t see the whole “don’t go to bed angry” concept as something couples must do every time there is a late night argument. Sometimes it is best to wait until daylight when both parties are refreshed and thinking more clearly before something is discussed/resolved. Of course if we’re tired, things are said that we really don’t mean or it takes longer to resolve something because we’re so wrapped up in the emotion of it all in the moment on top of our fatigue. When is it better to go to bed, and when is it better to stay up and work it out? Hard to say, but hopefully as you grow as a couple you can better gauge what’s what.

Hang in there. Be gentle with yourself and with him, even though it is hard. Get to the bottom of it. Ask questions.

Good luck! 

EDIT: LOL, In the time it took me to type this, I see you’ve already come to pretty much the same conclusions. Try to get some sleep and good luck working it out tomorrow. Breathe. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Darling Husband hates when I browse the net while watching TV with him.. he says it doesnt count as quality time if we are doing different things :p 

 

Men. 

Post # 13
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I HATE when Fiance uses his phone when we’re watching TV together! I totally see where he’s coming from. Sorry!

Post # 14
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@emilygrace07:  You sound just like me! I get soooo mad when my husband falls asleep when I’m upset or pissed at him. I wanna just pinch him.

My husband hates when I go on my laptop while we’re watching tv, but he also hates when I talk during tv hahaha, so it has to be quality quiet time on his terms I guess. It’s definitely annoying and rude, but at least it came from him wanting to spend time with you. My parents have this same issue all the time. My dad would sew himself to my mom’s hip if he could and he gets a little jealous and intrusive when she wants to spend time with her friends. I tell her to quit whining because a lot of women wish their husbands wanted to hang out with them so much! But I see where you’re coming from. He shouldn’t have snapped at you like that and hopefully this morning he’ll apologize… (with a coffee?) and you guys can move on. I hope you slept ok after all that!

Post # 15
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sounds like he wanted to snuggle with you and watch a show and you were on your computer. Is it possible he was indicating this and you missed his cues because you were on the computer?

Have a talk with him about your computer use and what he would like you to be doing and strike a compromise. For example, if he wants you to hang out and watch tv with you, it has to be one of your shows half the time. You could also cuddle up with him and have your laptop brightness dimmed. 

It sounds like he’s not communicating well but yes, you’re overreacting. This isn’t a big deal. 

Post # 16
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Have you ever read Five Love Languages or seen the Love and Respect videos? Maybe those are things you both could do together..they are very helpful with giving men and women ways of knowing each other better

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