(Closed) Gamer husband

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

@MrsTeasandkeys:  OMG OMG my fiance plays those same games…so annoying LOL…haha 

I made a rule that he can’t play the game for more than an hour after i get home from work and most of the time i want it off when i get home from work, bc i work later than him.  He can play 2 hours on the weekend maybe 3 total, while i am doing my thing ( getting my nails done, shopping, etc…) 

But i have gotten really upset if he plays too much, especially during our times together.

 

Post # 33
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@sherryberry:  I have a gamer fiancee and it definitely irritates me sometimes. My big beef with it is that he will stay up way later than he should on work nights and end up running late to work and it’s a several days a week thing, not once in a blue moon. We have a baby on the way so I really want him to wise up about it. He has decided on his own he’s giving up World of Warcraft when our daughter is born because it requires too much time and he knows he will have other priorities. I’m really really hoping having our daughter around makes him realize how much time he spends in front of a screen and change it.

Post # 34
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

@sherryberry:  I hear ya!

My man is a big time gamer…its gotten better, it use to be sitting there for 3 hours everyday on the computer while he plays, but now I do not let him play more than an hour everyday while i am with him.

Also it will not take up our weekends, thats just rude.  I will let him play for a couple hours while i go do girly things.

He does give me massages in exchange for him getting to game, so maybe you can set up something like that…to keep him from not gaming as much , haha

I CANT Stand coming home from work and hearing the da nu nu nu nu nu nu nu

 

nu nunu  da nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu! (Machine gun sounds) from call of duty when i get home.. OMG worst sound ever!!!

 

Post # 35
Member
819 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@BrideToBe14:  Damn… I’m impressed.

 

What has worked best for us so far is that he has “his” game days, days he raids with his wow guild.. Tuesday, Friday and Saturday (omg, don’t I know I get the worse days.. lol) and I get Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and we share Sunday. Now, when we first implemented it, it worked great, but we’ve gotten lazy about it.. FH expects to be able to play games the ENTIRE day when it’s his day, from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed on Saturday and then from end of work until he goes to bed (which is usually 2am or later) on his work nights. If we have other obligations on Saturday he gets pretty upset about it sometimes. Then on MY days, he’ll still try to sneak on the computer, like he’ll get on there while I cook dinner, or while I’m getting ready to go out, even if I ask him not to, or to talk to me instead..

 

The life of a wife of a gamer I suppose.. I love him though!

Added: he also likes to use my days to go to the gym.. he doesn’t see a problem with this, but I know he’s doing it so he can have more game time and I think it’s kinda rude of him. But try telling him that..

Post # 36
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sherryberry:  I’ve been a bit vindictive to be honest.  I read another gamer thread and one bee said if he’s gone to far she starts ordering presents for herself with his credit card.  Soooooo I have been buying all kinds of stuff to make soap.  He’s a bit annoyed but has been enjoying the soap haha. 

Seriously though, what has kinda worked is being honest.  The time that we have been happiest is after said we need to compromise so that we can both get what we need.  He got his alone time on day and the next we would go to the beach or zoo.  It was working great I may have to put my foot down again. 

Post # 37
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@quierajen:  Oh my gosh your husband sounds like a clone of mine!!!! He tries to shank my days too! Or he sneaks on when I’m in the shower or cooking!   

Post # 38
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sherryberry:  Fiance is quite the gamer. He usually comes home from work, eats, plays games until he’s pretty tired, will spend an hour with me, then pass out. This scenario doesn’t usually bother me- I get to go to the gym, see my friends, read, etc. If we have plans or something he never complains about missing a night of gaming or guilt trips me over it, so while he plays a lot, I don’t think his priorities have been distorted. I would be pretty pissed off if he said to me “you can only go to yoga and the gym this many hours a week and you have to be with me the rest of the time or else I ‘m done” so I’d never put an ultimatum like that on him. Plus when I was doing my master’s he never complained about the fact that I was a hermit in my office.  I figure if it ever gets to a point where I feel that the quality of our relationship is being compromised I’ll address it with him. He’s pretty receptive to things like that. We’ll see! 

Post # 40
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

He should be the one googling how to be a good husband. Because he’s not. Not sure what you can do about it as that’s up to him, not you. My sympathies.

Post # 41
Member
2002 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@sherryberry:  Fiance has been a gamer since long before I came along, so I know how you are feeling. It was definitely worst when he was stressing (he was unemployed and had been looking for a job in his field for a year). Is he stressed about something?

For us, it improved when he got his job (full time), because he really uust didn’t have much time for it anymore, and he can play when I am asleep (he gets home from work at 3AM) for an hour or so until he is too tired to go on. 

Now that you mention iPhones, though, he always seems to be playing something (Clash of Clans) when we are sitting around on the couch. He doesn’t get why it bothers me (I want to actually spend some quality time with him, since I only get to see him for 3 days per week!), and in his words, “you’re on your phone al the time, too!” Um, yeah, that’s because we were wondering what else we had seen that particular actor in, and I was looking it up. (In reality I didn’t say anything). 

It’s kind of always going to be an uphill battle for his time and attention. I wish I had something better to say than that. I think gamers in general have shorter attention spans (mine has ADHD), and are always “multi-tasking” even though only one task is getting their full attention. 

I don’t know if this applies to you or not, but when Fiance was online chatting with his friends during a game or whatever, I would ignore him whenever he was at the computer, because he had taught me (not necessarily on purpose) that he isn’t talking to me when he’s at the computer. Sometimes he would have to say my name 4-5 times because I was tuning him out. Maybe if he feels like YOUR attention isn’t at his beck and call, he’ll be better about separating his time with you from his time gaming?

Best of luck, I’m in your shoes, too!

Post # 42
Member
1946 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@sherryberry:  My intention was not to be nasty, not at all. I just think you’re in a really crappy situation and I’m sorry. I just don’t think you can force someone to want to spend time with you when he very clearly would rather do something else.

Post # 43
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

So I will start by saying I didn’t originally like video games or gaming in general and didn’t understand it then Fiance asked me if I would just try…I did….I loved it!!!! I am a total gamer now and it’s so fun to have this hobby together!! I discuss my gaming tactics, guns, strategies and such!! Give it a try…you may end up enjoying it or in the least make it more tolerable.

Post # 44
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BrideToBe14:  I would LOVE to make rules but then he goes off on my and calls me controlling… no matter what compomise I try to make. 

I am just glad he is too busy right now, and soon our LO will be here and he will be even busier! Lol! 

Post # 46
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sherryberry:  Yeah I hear ya… Honestly though when it was me in the siutation there wasn’t ANYTHING I could do… and I tried a lot of different things. It really came down to him, and him realizing he had better things to do and getting sick of it. 

🙁 I am so sorry you are in this situation though, I remember it being bad. It was one of the lowest points of our marriage really. 

HUGS and I’m here if you need to vent! 

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