(Closed) Gamer SO/FI/DHs

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Wow, yes!  My DH is a HUGE gamer.  We actually met playing D&D.  ๐Ÿ˜‰

I used to play a lot of games with him, and then it was a lot easier to deal with.  Since I don’t play much anymore, I have sort of gotten annoyed at him that he spends so much time playing video games.  But there are things I like to do that he doesn’t: stalking Weddingbee, blogging about tea, etc.  I give him space to do his “me time” things and he gives me space to do mine.

But we always come to each other at some point and ask to do something together.  I don’t think you should always be with each other every second of every day.  That’s not realistic.  So long as he chooses to spend time with you when you ask/need him to, your relationship will be fine.  My DH usually asks me what I want to do or what the plan is for the day before he starts playing a game.  Then he chooses the game specifically with how much time he has to devote to it.  He won’t start something like DOTA if we’re going to leave to catch a movie in 20 minutes.  He’ll play short online chess games instead.

You both need to find the balance that works for y’all.  And if there are any games you’d be willing to play with him, I’m sure that would be a great way to get closer to him and spend more time together.  Good luck!

Post # 33
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
@angeluscado:  My finace’ use to be obsessed with WoW. At one point I told him that I felt that he could not hold a conversation or really be present when he was playing, so I was done trying to communicate with him while he played. He eventually stopped. It is a semi-joke between us now that if he wants to break up with me or divorce, all he has to do is start playing again. The addiction took over his life when he played it, and he didn’t see an issue with it.

Post # 34
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m the gamer in our relationship. SO likes to game too, but works 70+ hour weeks so he only really gets to play for an extended period of time once in awhile. In the meantime, I take up the couch space for gaming, since he’s not around most of the time anyway due to work. I am very considerate though, I don’t usually play when he is at home. I’ll either let him play, or we’ll find other fun things to do.

Post # 35
427 posts
Helper bee

I recently broke up with someone after a year of dating, partially because of gaming. I think it is one of the biggest turn offs and I personally can’t get over it. If he wasn’t playing, he was watching people play on something called “Twitch”. We didn’t live together, but we were planning on it soon. I just had to do a lot of thinking to decide whether or not I could live with someone like that. Well obviously, I can’t. But, to each their own. We are all different.

Post # 36
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

DH and I both develop AAA games for a living. And we play them. He plays for a few hours every day, I don’t. It doesn’t bother either of us; that’s his hobby, and it doesn’t stop us from spending time together and having good communication. It’s just like anything else, for us. 

Post # 37
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I couldn’t help but laugh reading this thread because my hubby is a huge gamer. In fact he’s playing a computer game right now lol. He also plays DS a lot. We also have an Xbox, a wii, a gamecube and a wii u. I’m not a gamer, so he gets really excited when I play Mario with him on the wii u. Even though I don’t play I know so much about different games now just from watching him, and because he likes to talk to me a lot about them (even though I’m sometimes dying inside from boredom I try my best to listen lol).

Post # 38
7 posts

I LOVE VIDEO GAMES! I can honsetly say that I play them more then my hubby. But NOT all the time..With 3 kids it is hard to do it for very long anyways. If all the chores are done an the kids are asleep I can plug in for about an hour or so.  I am an XBOX360 girl but we have many game systems. I love Elder Scrolls, American Magee, Fable, Dragon Age, The Last of us, F.E.A.R (Even though it scares the CRAP outta me).There are so many great games!

BUT what I love the most is we have time to play together! Borderlands is great for that!


Post # 39
1 posts

      To @MissMonie: and everyone else who has thusfar replied to this thread; I’m so glad to see that there are other women out there who are acknowledging their SO/FI/DH’s habits.  ๐Ÿ™‚  I, too, am sometimes a Gamer Widow ~ though that is not necessarily a bad thing.  Having read through the majority of the comments, I am happy to see that there are so many loving women out there who understand that there are things that your SO/FI/DH will want to do that you might not be interested in, just as there will be things that you enjoy that your SO/FI/DH won’t think twice about.

     I’m just happy to see that there are so many of you out there realize that “alone time” is both a necessary and healthy part of any realitionship, regardless of what activities that are being done during that time.  If Video Games and multi-hour gameathons are the worst thing that we have to worry about, then we should all consider ourselves lucky women. There are much worse things that our men could be doing.

     Retrospectively, I have become somewhat of a Gamer Gal myself, having devlved into my FI’s stash of consoles and RPG/First Person games. We even have Gamer Date Nights where we pit our skills against one another for a jovial evening of competition and laughter.

     Being a Slightly Obsessive Gamer isn’t so bad once you try it yourself.   ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 40
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MissMonie:  All day long….all day long.  ‘Hey babe, what ya doin?’  – Boxin it up…(on Xbox)  ughhhh….He is the reason I now have the PS3 in the bedroom so I can watch netflix! 

Post # 41
4053 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My Fiance is big into Left 4 Dead, GTA, COD, and this computer game called League of Legends (or something to that effect).

Sometimes it drives me crazy because I’ll get home from work and he’ll have just started a forty-five minute game, so I’m kind of forced to roam that house or twiddle my thumbs until he’s ready to come out, haha. Other time, I’ll just give him a look and he’ll shut the game down and come out. We moved back in with my parents while I complete grad school, so with him in the room gaming and me trying to watch tv, sometimes we are on top of one another because he complains I’m “sucking up the internet” or the television is too loud, etc. 

I complain about it a lot, but Fiance is very, very shy in person-to-person contact and usually has trouble meeting people and building long lasting relationships, but he has several “online friends” that’s he’s known for years and that are actually coming to our wedding! So I am grateful that he’s able to connect to people in that way. 

We both love GTA V and he’s actually a little miffed that I’m much better at it than him and I’ve beaten the game, while his profile is still stuck somewhere in the beginning. 

Post # 42
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m more of a gamer than Fiance is, although he enjoys games too.

I don’t prioritise playing games over spending time with him though. Whenever I want to spend a couple of hours playing one of my games, he’ll play one of his… then we do something together. No issues here.

Post # 43
230 posts
Helper bee

Yeeeep. My SO is a huge gamer. If I ask him a question while he’s playing it’ll be a couple minutes before he answers. Drives me crazy. He’s 27 and him and his friends brag about “Snipin’ fools”. F***. I actually get pretty into my Zelda and Final Fantasy but I’m a lot more courteous about my game playing than he is lol.

Post # 44
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We’re both gamers but he definately plays more than me. The only thing that really bugs me is that with the crappy internet at our appartment, I can’t be on the internet while he’s playing League of Legends, and he plays pretty often. It’s usually too laggy for us to play it together, too.

Post # 45
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We’re both gamers but he definately plays more than me. The only thing that really bugs me is that with the crappy internet at our appartment, I can’t be on the internet while he’s playing League of Legends, and he plays pretty often. It’s usually too laggy for us to play it together, too.

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