(Closed) "gaming" the registry

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
528 posts
Busy bee

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  I think it’s quite inconsiderate to list some small items with the full intention of returning them all for the money. People do put time and thought into gifts, you know.

If you have no need for these things, don’t have a registry and some people will give cash. Or have a registry with the big ticket items and expect that either a few people will buy them or that they’ll see this is what you truly want so will give you cash.

If someone gifts you something you don’t want and you return it, that’s one thing. But purposely making a fake list to “game the registry” just sounds wrong.

Post # 3
Member
5081 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

Yeah this just sounds shady. I’d be pretty disappointed as a guest to pick out something on your registry only to find out it was a scam to be able to return it. Just don’t have a registry or only have a small one with things you actually want.

Post # 4
Member
6414 posts
Bee Keeper

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  only register for things you actually want and plan to keep. Otherwise it’s a waste of your time and energy in selecting the items and then returning them, and a waste of your guests’ time and energy going through the list and choosing what they want to buy.

If there aren’t many items on the registry peole will get the hint you want cash, and give cash.

Post # 5
Member
634 posts
Busy bee

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr : 

This is a ridiculous idea–don’t do it.  Buy furniture that’s in your budget if you can’t afford what you want at Crate and Barrel without returning items you’re registering for as gifts. Crate and Barrel have 10% off codes pretty often so it seems unnecessary to change your wedding date on your registry to exploit the registry discount.

Post # 6
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

I think it’s fine. I honestly don’t put too much thought into buying gifts off of the registry, I just find something that is in my budget and order it. It’s pretty common to do similar things like putting individual pots and pans on your registry and then returning them for the box set. You get more pots/pans that way and your guests can buy something that fits their budget.

ETA: The store does not notify the person who bought the item that it was returned/exchanged.

Post # 7
Member
8381 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Just cut things off the registry so people are more inclined to give cash. This whole shady back alley thing sounds so complicated lol. 

FTR I did not have a registry and received only 2 actual gifts – one was an expensive knife from a cooking friend and one was a weird thing from my husbands work people (they werent even invited and still gave it). All the rest was cash. You can watch for sales at these places and likely get more than the 10% completion discount or whatever. 

Post # 8
Member
6902 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  I’d be utterly pissed off if I found a couple registered for gifts with the intent to return.  The solution is to register for gift cards and leave a note about what you intend to purchase with contributions.  In this way, we were able to get a canoe and life jackets at an expense we would never ask one guest to provide via registering for them specifically.

Post # 9
Member
5625 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Don’t list items with the intention to return them.  Rude. 

Post # 10
Member
2266 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  I’d just cancel the registry altogether. As PP mentioned, getting a coupon for C&B isn’t terribly complicated. Just sit tight and wait. A sale will come along, I promise.

Most people understand if you don’t register that cash is welcome. I can’t think of ANYONE  

who worries cash will be a disappointing gift. Maybe for a birthday present, but not for a wedding.

The truth is, people know you have already established a household together. They probably understand you might not need a new toaster, but that cash for larger ticket items or even to save for a rainy day will come in handy. By not having a registry you save people the effort of buying you extraneous crap you don’t need, and let them determine for themselves what might be suitable. Usually, writing a check and slipping it in an envelope is less trouble, for everyone.

It’s disingenous to register for things you plan to return. Typically the store doesn’t alert the original buyer, but that doesn’t mean it’s kosher.

Cancel the registries. If people reach out and ask, tell them you are pretty well set-up, and let them figure it out. 

Post # 11
Member
4083 posts
Honey bee

I get that you don’t want to be crazy and put a couch on your registry (which is good), but this is just such a weird way to go about it and feels like you’re using your guests. Why don’t you just do a minimal registry with stuff you really like and then add the gift card option to the registry? I would think that would help facilitate a few gift cards and cash gifts.

Most stores do coupon codes here and there anyway, so you don’t have to necessarily rely on the completion discount. Crate and Barrel does like “this week only, all upholstery 20% off” and that kind of crap that can help you furnish your house without alienating your friends.

Post # 12
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

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justyourbasicpumpkinluvr :  I know Target does not notify the person, but I only know this because their registry SUCKS about updating if something has been bought, so we serioulsy got 6 of one item that we only registered for 1. Nobody was notified of the 5 that we returned. 

But, as others have said – this is kinda shady in my opinion. The only time I’ve heard of someone doing something similar is people registering for small pieces of a big set of dishes or pots and pans, then returning the individual items to buy the full set. 

I would just register for the few items that you do really want. Some people may want to go together and purchase a bigger item, or they may just give you cash or a gift card to the stores you registerd at. 

Post # 13
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Agree with PP to not having a registry (or a small one). Most people will give money.

Post # 14
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with others saying just don’t register – or only register for big ticket items that are appropriate and that you actually would like to recieve and keep, and most people will give money instead – which you can then use to buy the things you want.

Post # 15
Member
603 posts
Busy bee

I totally get what you are trying to do and completely understand the reasons.

What I would have suggested, if you want to put people’s money toward bigger ticket items is to register for gift cards.  Target allows you to register for gift cards, and I suspect Crate and Barrel would have also.  Then spread word of mouth that you guys are looking to buy bigger ticket items from Target and Crate and Barrel and are looking to get gift cards to pay for them.

I don’t think that what you are doing is wrong or shady, just time consuming and a pain in the ass for yourself and the store.  I am spreading word that Fiance and I want Gift Cards to Lowe’s, Homegood/TJ Maxx/Marshall’s, Bed, Bath and Beyond, and Target.

Then again, I also am not one to think it is a big deal to get regsitry information in invitations, nor do I find requests for cash or honey funds or any of that rude.  Some people just seem to be dying to get offended over gifts!

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