Post # 1
So my ceremony starts at 3pm and will likely be over at 3:30, the dinner does not start until 6:30. There’s a 3 hour gap, a few of my guests are complaining about this already. Is it really that big of a deal? Every wedding I have been to has had a large gap between ceremony and reception and I never cared. Cocktail hour starts at 5pm and from 3:30 to 5 we will do cold apps and punch for those who did not have time or neglected to eat lunch so they have something to snack on before hot apps and alcohol at 5 and what is turning into the world’s biggest dinner at 6:30. Is the gap really a huge deal? I feel bad because 3pm was the only ceremony time available so we had to take it and the venue doesn’t want to do the dinner earlier because of how the alcohol package is set up. Honestly I just want someone to reassure me that this will be okay, the complainers are getting me down 🙁 Thanks.
Post # 3
@breadandbutterflies: So really it’s a 2-2.5 hour gap? What do you think people should do between then?
Is this a Catholic wedding? I hear that’s typical.
Post # 4
@sienna76: There will be food etc the entire time of the gap, but it’s still a gap. The venue has a large patio and beautiful garden so people will not be trapped in a single room or anything, it’s an old historic building. With the weddings I have been to I simply mingled with other guests during the gap, since I was there to be social and enjoy the day anyway. It’s not a catholic wedding. It just didn’t seem like such a huge deal to me, I don’t like it but I didn’t think people needed constant entertainment either. Most functions I go to people spend a lot of time just chatting so it seemed odd to me that a few guests have complained about this gap. If I could have had the ceremony at 4 or 5 I would have but it was not an option.
Post # 5
I think it makes it better that you are providing refreshments, but it does kind of suck to wait around, especially if you are not from the area and don’t know of any alternatives locations to go if you don’t want to stay and wait. There’s not a whole lot you can do, though, so I would just try to figure out something to keep them occupied. I don’t know what theme or season your wedding is, but is there some sort of activity you could plan for that time?
Post # 6
It does seem a *little* big to me to be honest, but thankfully you are being considerate to provide food the entire gap. Hopefully people will think of it like you mentioned “a day to relax and be with loved ones.” That’s a great way to put it. If there’s nothing you can do, then there’s nothing you can do!
I forgot to ask are the ceremony and reception locations in diffferent/same places?
Post # 7
I’m having a 2 hour gap between my ceremony and reception (having a Catholic wedding). Honestly, it’s not ideal, but your guests will fine ways to entertain themselves. It’ll be just fine (though I’m sure a few people will end up skipping the ceremony and only attend the reception). It is really helpful you are providing refreshments and a place to mingle during the gap.
Post # 8
I think that’s too much time. Could you do pictures before the ceremony so the gap is smaller?
Post # 9
I think it’s ok since you are providing food/refreshments the entire time. It’s certainly not ideal, but IMO this makes it tolerable. I would be prepared for a lot of people either coming in late (closer to the reception time) or leaving after the ceremony and skipping the reception though. Most people don’t want to spend this amount of time with essentially nothing to do.
Post # 10
Pffft honestly do you care what other people think? I wouldn’t and don’t. You have to remember that this is YOUR day no one elses!.
I’m not Catholic. The gap between my ceremony and reception is almost 4 hours!. What will nmy guests do between the ceremony and reception. To be honest i really don’t care!.
It’s my day and i’ll have it the way i want it, end of story. Either come or dont!. All of my guests are ok with it and if they aren’t none of them have voiced their opinion. Saying that most of them know me very well and already know what my answer to that would be.
Your doing way more than i am by providing refreshments and snacks. They honestly have no reason to complain in my eyes!.
Post # 11
It’s really just that 3:30 to 5:00 period that’s a “gap,” since having cocktails for 1.5 hours is totally normal/nice. So fine, it’s not ideal, but people can figure out what to do with themselves. It sounds like you can’t change it, and you’ve done a lot to accommodate everyone, so…no biggie.
Post # 12
Well, because we had our ceremony at the same location as our reception, we had ZERO gap, and Darling Husband and I literally had to miss our entire hors d’oeuvres hour and about half of our reception taking pics. (We had planned to do most pics before the wedding, but traffic delays and other issues foiled that plan.) We never even had a chance to go around and greet our guests, and I was terribly upset about this for a very long time. So, for what it’s worth, I think you’ll end up being happy that you have a gap, and it sounds as if you are taking excellent care of your guests during the entire time.
Post # 13
@AlwaysSunny: It has nothing to do with pictures (I actually never even mentioned photographs lol), I have to have the ceremony at 3pm and the venue wants to hold the reception at 6:30 because of the way they do the scheduling.
Post # 14
Gaps, religious or not, make me want to kill myself.
Post # 15
@Toastymama: Haha I wish I was more like this! I am really non confrontational and a people pleaser to the point where I sacrifice what I want for others even though it’s my wedding! It’s such a stressful way to be. I am super scared people will leave and not come to the reception (I actually don’t care as much about the ceremony because I’m not paying for a bunch of food etc for the ceremony and I am happy as long as my closest family is at the ceremony).
Post # 16
I do think you should do your best to minimize guest discomfort. I would really try to move the ceremony later. Yes there are snacks and drinks, but for guests who aren’t part of your immidiate family they may not know as many it is very long.
At events such as these I tend to have an expiry date. I am good for say 5 hours. If 2.5 hours of that is eaten up by gap, I will probably end up leaving the reception early. I suspect many guests may also operate in a similar way. Espeically, guests who are older, ill, or not social butterflies.
If there is truly nothing to be done, then there is nothing to be done. In which case you will just have to live with it.