Post # 17
@ADKbride12: I agree with you. I totally get that people do it because it’s tradition and they think it’s cute and all, but FH and I find it trashy and inappropriate. You can pick and choose which traditions you want at your wedding. I’ve seen the bouquet toss a million times and have yet to see the garter toss.
Post # 18
I’ve actually never seen a garter toss in person! And I’ve been to a ton of weddings. I wonder if it’s more of a regional thing. That said, about half of those weddings did have a bouquet toss and it didn’t seem weird at all that there was one without the other.
The other weddings either didn’t have a bouquet toss either, or they had an “anniversary dance” where they invited all the couples on to the floor and had them dance until the DJ called out a year greater than they had been married (ie. he would say: “Now only couples that have been together 20 years or longer” and the couples together 19 years or less would sit down) The last couple on the floor was given the bouquet.
I really like that idea, not only because I think it’s super sweet and apropos to see such long-committed couples, but because my grandparents have been together longer than anyone I know and when I get married one day if I chose this route I could give them the bouquet!
Post # 19
I don’t think the garter toss tradition is trashy. I have 4 older sisters and all 4 did it. It is kind of strange now that I think of it but…. there is a tradition in my family (very traditional/straight laced) to have the guy do it with his teeth! Now I could see that being trashy but all my sisters did it so I didn’t have much choice. I threatened my Fiance with his life if he flashed our guests though. He was kinda funny about it then and just dove in because I had a ball gown dress, he disappeared for a sec. Was kinda funny, but I didn’t flash anyone .
We also did the bouquet toss AND the anniversary dance. We loved it all. But as others have said, feel free to pick what you are comfortable with. It is your day. I have been to weddings that have had the bouquet toss but not the garter, didn’t even notice it was missing.
Post # 20
@ADKbride12: WE just had an extra garter and I attached lottery tickets and scratchies to it. DH threw that to all the men at the wedding who wanted to “get lucky” that night…everyone loved it. We did the same for the boquet toss. I had a silk boquet and attached scratchies to it so ALL the ladies (not just single ones) could come up and “get lucky”
Post # 21
I hate calling things names when other people have done it, but I’ll say I find it trashy to me…. I don’t think a groom running his hands under his brides dress, up onto her thigh, pulling off an undergarment and then displaying it for everyone is cute, sweet or anything. It’s just kind of distasteful for me….and we did do it for my first wedding and I hated it, dreaded it and really felt gross. Not that he did anything over the top or anything, but it’s like ‘hey look everyone, I’m up near her crotch….we’ll be doing the real thing later!! Hey – a garter belt! Look Mom, here’s what her undies look like” lol! Ugh……really awkward!
Post # 22
We’re not doing it because we’re both in our thirites and it just seems a little…young. Okay, and a little trashy. Plus, we don’t really have any single friends so it’s pretty pointless.
Post # 23
Im not going to say its outright trashy, but it definitely can be.
We chose not to do it (or a bouquet toss) for several reasons. 1)We think its an antiquted tradition that has no personal significance to us. 2) I felt really uncomfortable with the idea of him crawling up my dress in front of our families and then throwing a piece of my underwear to our single friends. 3) I feel like its kind of humiliating (As for the bouquet toss, I feel its EXTREMELY humiliating.)
ETA: A lovely video I found on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CV2r7LxuOQ
Post # 24
I don’t think it’s trashy, but I also don’t want it at our wedding. We might have two single guys there (and one guy who is secretly married), the only single women under 50 are his sisters, and there are his recently divorced parents. So it’s just awkward to have garter/bouquet tosses. They are traditions that I just happen to find terribly embarrassing.
Post # 26
i usually disappeared to the bathroom during a bouquet toss. There’s something about being paraded around as a single girl that just bothered me.
i am filling a pinata with mini bottles and condoms. Anyone who wishes to participate in busting it open is welcome to do so – but i get the first swing at it!!!!!!!!!!
Post # 27
We skipped both – the bouquet toss because I find distasteful the idea that single women are all chomping at the bit to be next to get married, and the garter toss because nobody needed to see my new husband rooting around under my dress, least of all my dad, grandma, and great aunt Matilda.
We considered tossing a bouquet of lottery tickects or something (which I think is a really fun idea), but we had a very “up and around” reception with action stations, dancing, and mingling, and didn’t want to keep interrupting the flow of the party.
Post # 28
My Fiance and I actually just decided this weekend that we’re not doing a bouquet or garter toss. I feel like at all the weddings I’ve been to, the single girls dread getting up there and most try to avoid the bouquet. It’s not like the movies at all, where everyone is trying to get it. Fiance says the same thing about the garter toss. So we’re scrapping it, and feel great out the decision!
This is actually one of the few traditions I really
wanted to do! I saw a “Generations” dance at a friend’s wedding last year and loved it. And what better way to celebrate my grandparents 55+ year marriage? Unfortunately, my grandpa passed away last month, and Fiance and I realized none of our living grandparents have partners still alive. Knowing that, the idea of doing this dance seemed too painful, so sadly, we’re scrapping that as well.
Post # 29
It definetly doesn’t have to be trashy. DH and I wanted to do it because we are both very traditional. We had a lot of fun with the garter toss but when it came to the bouquet toss hardly anyone got up, I was mortified. We had a lot of single friends so I didn’t expect it but the girls who were not married but dating wouldn’t do the bouquet toss even though the guys who were not married but dating jumped right up for the garter toss.
On a side note I have been to a couple of weddings where they just did the bouquet toss and I thought it was really odd. Everyone just looked around wondering what they were supposed to do next.
Post # 30
Meh, I don’t have a problem with it, but if you and your Fiance don’t want to then who cares what anyone else thinks?
At my friend’s wedding, they did the bouquet toss but they didn’t do a garter toss and it was fine.
Post # 31
I will be doing it. I dont think its trashy if its done properly. I have even seen one with her dress pulled up to her knee and the garter not too high and pulled off by his teeth. It was done quickly and harmlessly and he looked so uncomf it made everyone laugh! I will probably have my Fiance do it the same way. Knowing him he will give some cheesy “Im the man look” before and goes for it but I bet his whole face turns red and he gets a bunch of laughs too.