Garter/Bouquet Toss? Archaic? Tacky?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 4
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was kind of neutral on the whole tossing situation as well.  We did it because I had a few friends who were DYING to catch the bouquet to send their boyfriends a pretty big hint, and it was ok… could have lived without it though.

Post # 5
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i’m in the same boat.  i don’t want him up my skirt in front of a bunch of people because he’s such a ham and i think i’ll be annoyed and i just don’t really have that many female friends that are all that interested in catching the bouquet, plus i don’t want to have to make a second throwing bouquet anyway.

i’m interested to find out what people suggest, instead of the tosses

Post # 7
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you should only incorporate those elements that you really want, and if the tosses aren’t one of them, don’t bother!

I’m biased, but I think that you will absolutely not miss it or regret it if you don’t do it. When you see women reminiscing about their favorite parts of their wedding days, you will hear things like “our vows,” “walking down the aisle,” “first dance,” “dancing with my friends,” etc. I’ve never heard anyone talk about the bouquet toss like that!

I have personally never enjoyed the tosses at any wedding I’ve ever been to. I wouldn’t describe it as “tacky” because lots of people love it, but it does single out (see what I did there?) those who aren’t married in a way that not everyone appreciates.

Post # 8
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It seems clear to me from what you wrote that you don’t even want to do it, so why not just skip it? From what you’re saying it sounds like the only reason you’d want to do it (or think you’ll miss it when looking back on the day) is because you feel that it’s “supposed” to be done, and that’s a bad reason to do anything. Don’t do it if it doesn’t mean anything to you, or if you think it’ll be uncomfortable!

Post # 9
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Kant: Or, what you said.

Post # 10
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If a garter toss and bouquet toss are important to someone, I would never begrudge them the experience.  The weddings I’ve been to, they seem to always occur just when people are getting into dancing and having a good time, creating a lull.   I’m skipping them and going to either preserve my bouquet or quietly present it to an elderly relative.

Post # 11
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m sorta on the fence about this, and I think I will probably decide based on the number of single… 

Strangely enough, most of my FH and I’s friends are already living together, married or probably not getting the +1 for a date unless their in a solid relationship where we know the other (married, engaged, or dating several years and we both know them as a couple friends.)

That said – I don’t think right now there are going to be a lot of single men or women at our wedding. If that’s the case –  I don’t plan on doing a toss. 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We had agreed from the start to skip the garter b/c we both think it’s awkward. I didn’t want to do the bouquet toss either, but my mom insisted it was a cute tradition and the toss bouquet was free from our florist so I said I would do it. Then, we were having so much fun at the wedding that we totally forgot to do it! oops! I really don’t think anyone noticed or missed it.

Post # 13
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We didn’t do either one because we didn’t want to for reasons similar to those some of you have mentioned. I don’t regret the fact we skipped them; we had a blast and no one missed them.

I don’t think the traditions are archaic or tacky, though; I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone who included them at their reception.

Post # 14
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am not doing a garter toss cos’ the history of it makes NO sense in modern applications in my situation, it actually is kind of creepy to me.  So I nixxed it.  =)

 Tossing the wedding garter is an old  time held tradition.  It is said that in the days gone past, the bride and groom had to  show proof of their wedding consummation.  In order for it to be proven, it was common tradition to have people like family and friends come into the room with the couple.  The “witnesses” would obtain the garter as “proof” of the consummation.   Also having any article of the under garments was considered to be good luck so sometimes things would get out of hand in the newly wed’s bedroom as crazed onlookers snatched at clothing to get for good luck.  This was not appreciated much by the bride nor many grooms, hence the groom started tossing the garter out so that no one would need to obtain it themselves. 

 


Post # 16
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would do what is best for your group of friends and family. Some friends and family really look forward to it, while others, like our friends, are older and for the most part married. I had a total of 2 single friends at our wedding.

You could always ask around to your guests and get a general feeling.

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