(Closed) Gave FMIL mixed messages, now what?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Snowy414: I would just say that you really appreciate all that she’s been helping you with but you really want to be in charge of the cake table.  Simple!

Post # 4
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I definitely think you should sit down with her and tell her how much you realy appreciate everything she’s doing.  You need to say this BEFORE you start setting guidelines and AFTER you set them.  Positive … negative … positive.  Unfortunately, some ppl may feel unappreciated and that’s NOT something you want to do.

Next, you need to set up guidelines.  I know you’re happy to have her help and have free reigns to do certain things, but you may want to keep an eye on that.  And be careful with giving free reigns to someone else who is not completely sharing your vision.  I know its easier to allow someone else to do it, but you don’t want to come down to the final weeks (as I am now) and start crossing T’s and dotting I’s and come to find out … the centerpieces are not the way you were thinking (or what you may have originally discussed).  It’s better to be prepared and do the little things then find out the BIG thing at the end.  Stress beyond stress.

But, I think with some guidelines set (and telling her what things YOU’LL be personally taking care of) you’ll be fine and she’ll understand.  But, you definitely need to put a stop to this sooner rather than later.  Good luck!

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