(Closed) Gawker Waiting Article…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I think this is mean and wrong. Does anyone sense the voice of a man behind this? For me it totally felt like an annoying guy wrote that, or a really bitter lady trying to have every young woman do what she wants.

I know there’s a lot of “feminist” who think this is not the ‘ideal’ situation, but we’re among girls and this is a community to share your ideas, concerns, experiences and look for support. It’s not like the waiting ladies are crying everyday over a ring or are depressed, it’s just a way to relate to other woman going through the same. Ugh, I think I got mad reading that.. but you girls know what I mean right?

Post # 4
Member
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It didn’t offend me, and there is some truth in the article. But then again, I was never in the waiting boat. More or less, the article seems pointless, even if it does kind of hit the nail on the head in some cases.

Post # 5
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Every situation is different. Can’t generalize those who are waiting.  i think waiting is different when you are younger, more acceptable of course. but when you are like, 35 and have 4 kids with the same guy and have been with him 6 years, i get kinda sketched out.

Post # 6
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

@Enchanted1:  Like you, I very much enjoy having a waiting forum.  And I love the writing “prompt”!

The only thing “depressing” about this article is how poorly it is written!  The introduction leads the reader to believe that this article describes how depressing it is to be “waiting for a ring”, yet it lacks further development of the theme.  The author does, however, attempt to use humor to engage her audience.  A more in-depth analysis of any of the quotes she selected could have been used to provide a more thorough explanation of how “waiting” makes women “depressed”.  I get that this was meant to be a mockery of women on the brides.com waiting board, and that isn’t cool. But honestly, it’s as offensive to me as a 2-year old saying, “You’re mean!” when I say, “It’s time for a nap.” 

Consider the source.

Post # 7
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

So I went and checked out the bride.com “waiting for ring” board, and there was this one thread, “No ring until ‘rear entry’” …. um, OMG.  I think most of the posts on here are not as sad/gross as that!

Post # 8
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

I read this article and found it more stupid than offensive.  For some reason or another, author Maureen O’Connor can’t seem to empathize with the Waiting community.  Possibly she has never found herself in this kind of situation before, either because she has been too lucky or not lucky enough with men in her life, or perhaps she is really a man pretending to be a woman, or she is a robot.

Either way, I can’t find myself particularly offended by an article that really only consists of 3 or 4 sentences of the author’s own original writing with paragraphs of quoted material from brides.com forums.  The article was lazy, unimaginative, and the author really should be ashamed that she put such little effort into her ‘stab’ at the Waiting community. 

Post # 9
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

It was a bunch of phrases to me. I have to say, that’s depressing? She must not have been to other areas on that website…or this one.

Post # 10
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Thanks for posting… I didn’t really find it too offensive.  I guess it’s the fact that she only focused on ONE person waiting and quoted two other negative responses- that made it very one sided.  But she was going for the “depressing” aspect of waiting.  I’ve never checked out that board.  I’m happy to be on this one.

Post # 11
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have never been on that board. Whoa. Well the author’s plan to mock the waiting bees clearly backfired. It didn’t generate enough ‘haha’ responses on her own site. It’s a complete failure when you set out to write something but no one catches your intended meaning. That means she has failed as a writer.

Post # 12
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think the article is offensive, but sometimes I do think that there are a lot of people out there who would like those of us who are waiting to be ashamed, so to speak, of wanting our SO to propose.  Clearly wanting to get married is an “archaic” custom and a throwback to feminist culture- something for which we should be shamed publically for wanting in our lives.  I mean, come ON.  That’s ridiculous!  I’m so thankful for the waiting boards here in the Hive: here at least we have a community who is open about what they REALLY want, and not what other people THINK they should want!    

Post # 13
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m shocked. Only because a woman writer has more common sense and creativity in the written word. Unbelievable.

Post # 14
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think there is a difference in waiting for the ring and waiting to get married.

Post # 15
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I didn’t have a proposal or a ring and really can’t relate to a lot of the waiting posts,but at the same time, did not like the article and found a lot of the comments really superficial.  I mean, I’m generally a pretty hardcore feminist, non-girly type and I spent a lot of time planning our wedding.  And yes, you do need to plan a lot of this stuff beforehand.  Places around here get booked over a year in advance, dresses take months to order… sure you don’t need any of this stuff, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting it, and with giving your friends and family time to plan their schedule so they can make it.

Honestly, it’s not really anyone else’s business how you spend your money.  While I personally am pretty opposed to status symbols and think they’re dumb, other people may think it’s important to have a ring as a financial symbol of commitment, or because they’ve grown to expect it.  We spent a somewhat ridiculous amount of money (but an amount we could afford) on what was basically a really eclectic, tongue in cheek three day party with a lot of food and alcohol and really nice pictures.  Does that make us superficial people?  Does that make us attention whores?  No, it just means that having a really bad ass, love-filled party to kick off our marriage was OUR priority.

And while I am pretty much the most gung ho proponent of keeping one’s name around, holy crap was there some anti-woman judgment going on in there!  Do not like.  Women (and men!) need to stop telling women that there’s only one acceptable way to live your life!

ETA: also, while “waiting to be financially sound” can often be an excuse for a guy who doesn’t want to marry his girlfriend, it can also be legit.  Sometimes people know they want a certain amount saved for the wedding.  Yeah, sometimes it’s due to fancy wedding expectations (though is saving for that really a bad thing?), but other times people have 6 siblings and 25 cousins and know they need to feed a lot of people and find a venue with a lot of bathrooms (so, yeah, the public park or backyard option does not always work).  It’s one thing to tell a friend or someone who asks for honest advice that you think their guy is beating around the bush, it’s another to run around judging people you don’t know.

Post # 16
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

@MsMamaBear:  I couldn’t agree with you more!  All the author did was copy and paste posts, adding in a few fillers that were really only “fluff”.  It clearly lacks any development and doesn’t even begin to prove her point, really.

 

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