Post # 1
My sister and I have been putting together the guest list for the bachelorette party, and I’m wondering if we should invite one of my best friends since 7th grade. He’s a gay guy, let’s call him J. I don’t think he’d be angry if he weren’t invited, but I’m wondering if I should be inviting him. More factors to help make a decision:
- We’ll be inviting about 18 people, and no one (except for my sister and I) will know more than half of the guests. It’ll be my sisters, cousins, college friends, and San Diego friends. J is friends with a good handful of them.
- He is a WAY bigger drinker and partier than me. This isn’t going to be a big drinking event (planning on going to the zoo, going out for a nice dinner, getting fancy cocktails) or even particularly scandalous.
- He’s a groomsman, because he said he’d rather stand on the guys’ side, and he really likes my fiance and is happy we’re getting married. He’s much closer to me than my fiance, though.
- He’ll be invited to the bachelor party, but it’s kind of like a courtesy invite because it involves traveling, and the ONLY person he’d know is my fiance.
Post # 3
@sunsetchristy: Why not just ask him? Some gay men may be all about it while others would prefer to stick to boys club activities. If you don’t want to ask (because, I don’t know, it is a surprise?), then I say invite him.
Post # 4
@sunsetchristy: One of my best friends from middle school is gay and he is a groomsman in my wedding. I could NOT imagine him not being in all of our professional photos with our bridal party…I was so glad when he said yes to being a groomsman (I was actually surprised at how happy he was that I asked). He will absolutely be invited to the bachelorette party, which he has already shown so much excitement for. He will also be invited to the bachelor party, and although he knows most of the guys going, I’m not sure he will attend that.
I think you shoud invite him! He’s one of your best friends and I’m sure he’d love to be there!
Post # 5
One of my wife’s BFFs is a guy and he went to her bachelorette. She could not have imagined it without him and everyone had a wonderful time. If he is important to you, invite him! Crush those gender stereotypes!
Post # 7
I asked my gay best friend if he’d want to be invited to bachelorette/shower and he said no. Just ask him, the courtesy invite for the bachelor party might be enough!
Post # 8
My gay Brother-In-Law was invited and went to my Bachlorette party! He said he was more comfortable going to my last night out than his brother’s LOL My wonderful Mother-In-Law went too. We had a wonderful time 🙂
Post # 9
Definitely invite him but let him know that it’s his call to come or not.
Let him know all the details of what you are doing so he knows.
I think if you didn’t invite him his feelings could be hurt. Not worth that happening.
Post # 10
I voted that he should be invited.
I don’t quite understand how asking him if he wants to be invited is different than just inviting him.
Why not just invite him, and privately tell him that you definitely want him to be there, but won’t be offended if he’s not comfortable coming?
I WISH I had a fun gay bestie to bring places!
Post # 11
Two of my best friends are gay, but they are still men and it is a girls’ night so they wouldn’t want to come! I also think they might be offended if i invite them just because they are gay and not my other straight guy friends. So unless you have decided to invite your straight male friends too then I wouldn’t.
However if you think they would want to be there then just ask him (I voted “ask” as you know him best).
Post # 12
My friends are pretty evenly split between girls and guys, so my guest list is too (in fact, it is exactly half girls and half guys). All are straight. There may be male strippers involved. No one cares. Of my RSVPs (the invitation was out yesterday), so far 4 are guys and 4 are girls (5 if you include meeeee).
Post # 13
Why not? Especially if none of your activities are obviously “female only”? I’m debating this as well, because I’d love to invite my male friends, brother, and male cousins to my hen, but I obviously don’t want them to come if we end up doing burlesque classes, or ariel silk classes, or something. Anything even remotely raunchy should be single gender only, IMO… much more comfortable that way. On the other hand, if it’s a matter of zoo, meal, and pub crawl (I suggested a fancy dress pub crawl to my Maid/Matron of Honor as one option) then they seem like perfectly suitable co-ed activities to me.
Post # 14
I think it’s fine to invite him and if he declines the invitation, he declines – leave it up to him. My gay best friend and his partner were the only guys at my Retro Housewife themed bridal shower and they fit in beatifully (it wasn’t awkward or anything) and they both even won prizes from the shower games, haha.
Post # 15
I work in pediatrics which tends to have a high gay male population. lol. We always throw bachelorette parties for the ladies we work with – and our gay boys are always invited! In fact, we wouldnt have it any other way. Theyre so much fun!!
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Taghkanic State Park
I think you should invite him! My gay best friend is my man of honor and he’ll definitely be at mine. It seems like you’re going for something pretty casual and I’m sure the girls won’t mind especially if a good amount of them know him.
If you’re worried that it won’t be an exciting enough party for him, then maybe just explain what you’re going to be doing and ask him if he’d be interested in going, then there’s your answer. 🙂