Gay weddings, conservative friends, and bridesmaids…posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016 - Wedgewood Las Vegas
Why is her newborn baby excuse so unbelievable? Attending a wedding with a newborn can be really, really difficult and physically draining. It sure was for my friend who had a 3 month old during mine.
Is it because Mary is identified as a conservative and religious person that makes it so easy for people here to question her every motive and make assumptions that she’s a bigot or otherwise horrible person? How is that not bigotry as well?
It IS possible for Mary to be religious, conservative, and actually be supportive of her LGBTQ friend as well. It sucks that her friend’s family was not supportive of her, but that doesn’t mean that Mary is the same way.
Even the OP stated they had been friends for a long time, and that it wasn’t a surprise when their friend came out publicly. Sounds like Mary had YEARS to dissolve the friendship if it was that big of a deal breaker for her.
In any case, the OP should not have gotten involved at all. This has certainly blown up into something far bigger than it needed to, and will likely end the supposedly close relationships they had. I know I would walk away from people who would accuse me of these horrible things.
- 2 years ago
All I’m getting from this thread is that some people think it’s ok to hate on and ascribe ulterior motives to a friend of many years simply because they’re religious and you’re now a member of the gay community.
Not cool. Not cool at all.
- 2 years ago
At this point, I’d say you, Beth and Sally need to find other friends and leave Mary alone. That way you and Beth can support Sally and not worry about Mary. And, Mary can find friends who support her as she navigates the end of her pregnancy and into motherhood.
- 2 years ago
- Wedding: July 2017
So just to clarify – the comments Mary said to me were in the context of: “I am a Catholic and I believe the church’s teachings.” They were NOT along the lines of “I am anti-gay and hate all gay people.” I do believe that you can follow your church’s teachings AND still be supportive of your LGBTQ friends. Some people may disagree with that. So I made that comment to point out why I may understand where Sally is coming from. But with a lot of thought and talking to Mary directly, I now recognize that I was wrong to think that way. And I think my comment came across poorly here and is now being misconstrued (but that’s my fault).
At the end of it, I agree I shouldn’t have gotten involved but I was kinda pulled into it. I affirmed Sally’s right to feel disappointed and I affirmed to her how hard the last year or so has been for her. I also affirmed to Mary that she made the right decision and I told Sally she needs to try to accept Mary’s reasons and move forward positively. I’m not sure if that will happen at this point but Sally is still really emotional and upset. I’m hoping over the next few weeks she will cool off and she can repair the relationship. Mary’s viewpoint right now is that she stated her reasons, explained to Sally that she’s always been supportive of her and her relationship, and she feels like there’s nothing more she can do.
I really appreciate everyone’s views and opinions and the initial comments were super helpful in giving me a perspective that I didn’t previously have! But I don’t think any more speculation is necessary. Maybe in the coming weeks I will update everyone on how things are going with Mary and Sally. Thank you again!
- 2 years ago
In short, both Sally and Mariah are on “drugs.” the equivalent of opioids.
Mary is, as well, extremely hormonal.
I can see why Sally and Mariah are scrutinizing their community for any possible signs of rejection or lack of support, as it’s an extremely vulnerable time. AND – they’re barking up the wrong tree with Mary, who took no actions except for those of support, if your post is listing all Mary’s actions from the time Sally came out.
If I were Sally’s close friend, I’d be seriously concerned about the speed of this marriage, and I’d be standing ready to support her in the next two years, as the chemicals will fade by two years at most, and then Sally will have a time of finding out whether she and Mariah are truly able to work without chemicals dictating their attachment.
I truly hope Mary and Sally can work things out, but I think all their friends can do is stay calm and not add to any hearsay, stories or speculation. Just be a calming presence and hold your friends through the huge changes in their lives…
Mary will be very busy with a new baby anyway – maybe some natural distancing will occur.
For those who said people are ignoring Mary’s homophobic views – I didn’t read any homophobic views. We can have a faith and a community to practice it with, and at the same time, we can believe that “the greatest of these is love,” and people should 100% be supported to marry those whom they love, and that one single (**mistranslated**) stupid bible verse isn’t real or true. Just because we go to a place of worship does *not* mean we are in any way homophobic. There are enough people out there threatening and harming the LGBTQ community- I get that it would be hard to trust, it might be easier to look for enemies so one could protect one’s heart from harm, but believing people accept and support until they prove otherwise is a better recipe for a good life. (And I am NOT talking about when one is alone walking late at night or whatever. I know how traumatized the community is.) But come on, Mary never said anything but support! Support for Sally and happiness for her does not = homophobia.