(Closed) Is she insane or am I crazy?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

No offense… she sounds like she is headed towards a town I call bridezillaville. Maybe distance yourself a tad? Give her some time to you know, spaz it out, get it out of her system, and when she’s calm you can offer advice?

Post # 4
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If she’s only been engaged for three weeks, it’s all still realy new to her and she’s probably just super excited/overwhelmed with options.  I would try to humor her a bit…it’ll settle when she gets more used to it.  Smile

Post # 5
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t know if she’s headed for BridezillaVille or not but it definitely sounds like planning a wedding will be overwhelming for her. Is she normally…uh…eccentric?

Post # 7
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hesitate to say bridezilla, but I never hesitate to say  dramatic.

Post # 8
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Nona99:  I’m sorry I can’t help with advice and I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m laughing at your misery, but your post was really funny. Like, just the way it was worded with the antler trophies, animal apocalyptic projections and the ending cry for help with SADISTIC punched into it. hahaha.

Good luck though!

 

Post # 9
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Becareful where you tread here… Everything was dandy in the lead up to my sisters wedding, the night before she flew of the handle! Abused my mum for not doing enough for her and abused me for doing too much. We honestly couldnt win, some bride’s just cant cope and lose it. Instead of saying thanks to me she accused me of trying to take her wedding from her.
A totally insane accusation. We were always super duper close but since her wedding we have barely spoken, that was more than two weeks ago. So weird for us. Just tread carefully, people are different and some girls get overwhelmed with the pressure. Best of luck with her! xo

Post # 11
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@katatatkat:  I totally agree.  Nona writes like it’s sit-com.  So does Torrid. They always make me think and crack up at the same time. Love it!  🙂

Post # 12
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee

I would tell her that it hurts your feelings when she treats you like that. Tell her you want to be supportive and want to help, it’s just hard when you feel like your help isn’t appreciated.

Obviously she’s under a lot of stress, but she needs to know that her behavior is hurtful.

Post # 13
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can’t say I’m shocked based on how scared you and her fiance were of breaking the news that she didn’t get a diamond.  As two people who know her really well, there must have been a good reason why you were so scared.  Just remember one thing – being asked for help doesn’t mean you have any responsibility for the outcome.  It is HER wedding, she is responsible for having a vision and making it happen.  If her vision is impossible, it is no-one’s fault but her own.

I assume, though, that the reason you care enough to post so much on here is that you love her, and she’s cool enough to make up for the attitude.  It would probably be easier to support her own decision-making, than to try to create her vision.  So for example, if she says, “I want gothic in the mountains”, ask her what type of gothic she’s looking for, or what area she wants, rather than suggesting actual places.  Help her figure it out, rather than trying to figure it out for her.  Like a therapist – if she says “I hate her!”, you say “you hate her?” rather than “well then stop inviting her to your parties”.

Post # 14
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I am just picturing this gothic in the mountains with antlers wedding… 

Post # 15
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d give her a silk napkin at her shower;)~… but I’m sarcastically pokey like that.. i’d just steer clear of any advice and if she asks why you aren’t offering it up, tell her you don’t want her jumping down your throat.

Post # 16
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This early on I would chalk it up to being overwhelmed. She probably is thinking ‘oh my god, I have to do this and this and this and this and this, and we haven’t even decided this or this or this yet…” The first month of my engagement I didn’t plan anything, I wasn’t having any of that stress that early. Before the engagement I had already gotten info on just about every venue in the city and did some rough number crunching to see what their price range would be. As it stands we have our church and reception hall booked, my dress ordered and an idea of the menu we want. We also have our social hall booked and tickets printed, (I know alot of people disagree about socials but here its the normal thing to do and we both enjoy them so we’re having one).

I feel like I have tons done already but at the same time I feel like nothing is done. So i’m inclined to say she’s just freaking out at the overwhelming number of decisions and details they have to make/pick out. 

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