(Closed) Geez… Body image.

posted 6 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
8487 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

How rude. Dont listen to them. You probably dont want to listen to any advice I’d give about it, because I have no problem telling my family when they’re being bitches, so I wouldnt even talk to them again until they stopped acting like that.

Post # 4
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Personally, I think it’s never too early to try getting fitter (easier said than done, I know!), and I think that’s the more important factor when losing weight. You’ve already got a guy, so you don’t need to stress so much about appearance, but you owe it to him, yourself, and your future kids, to be as healthy as possible as soon as possible.

Post # 5
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

God, what a nightmare. I mean, I’m sure momma and gma are lovely ladies otherwise, but seriously–what a nightmare.

I have been almost every weight under the sun and gain and lost and gained, so take it from me: the only person whose perspective counts on this is YOURS. The reason is because it doesn’t matter how disapproving your mom or your grandmother or anyone else is–even if their words were to get to you, you simply cannot lose weight for others. It has to be a completely self-motivated desire; otherwise it won’t work. And the other side to that is weight loss has to come from a position of self-respect and self-love. You have to want to lose weight because you believe in yourself and believe that it’s a gift that you deserve as an awesome person–I don’t mean to imply that weight loss is necessary for everyone; I’m pointing out that if you were to come at it from a position of “I have to do this because I’m LACKING in some way” it will be that much harder. Your mom and grandma are basically enforcing that attitude on you.

So I ask you: do YOU want to lose weight and is it something you want to do out of self-love and happiness? If the answer to either of those questions is no, then as hard as it is, you have to let other people’s problems be their problems and find your zen when you feel their judgement. I also think that it’s worth perhaps reminding your mom and grandmother that this is a happy time for you and they are robbing you of some of that happiness. Maybe they genuinely feel they are helping you; maybe they are insecure themselves but either way, it’s rude, mean-spirited, and making you sad.

On another note, I’ve never seen a bride–fat, thin, tall, petite, unibrow, in a wheelchair, bald–who didn’t look absolutely radiant on their wedding day. You will too.

Post # 7
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know how that can be, my mother has always been fit and trim and myself on the other hand has had constant stuggle. We know they are coming from a “good place” with thier comments, but sometimes it just hurts non the less. Just remember you ARE beautiful and on your wedding day you are going to look fabulous – remember your Fiance loves you for you!


Post # 8
2910 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

My advice – tell both of them that your physical appearance is NOT a topic for conversation, that the things they said to you are psychologically harmful, and that you won’t hear those kinds of comments again. Then do whatever you need to feel better. It sounds to me like you had a great attitude about yourself until this happened, and if reading a self-esteem book or something can help you get to that point, I think it’s worth a shot. Remind yourself that you are beautiful and strong and that a few pounds lost or gained won’t change the fact that you will be GORGEOUS on your wedding day.

Post # 9
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I use to have that problem with my mom and her making comments on my weight.  I finally had enough and asked her to just stop talking about my weight, since it was none of her concern and trust me I worry about it enough for the both of us.  That was 4 years ago and she has not mentioned it since.

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