Post # 17
I had a case of the blues with my Engagement Ring a while back, no one seemed to notice it was an engament ring and i was for some reason disheartened. Even though i had recieved what i had wanted for years. I think it just takes time to feel comfortable in your choice, your doing something different and i think its important to focus on the fact why you chose it not about other people…. even it at times its hard, i get it.! Can you post a photo of your ring? I would LOVE to see it! 🙂
Post # 18
Thankfully, I never got anything but kind words from people, probably because the announcement of the engagement came before I showed off my awesome emerald ring. And I had made it clear beforehand that I loved emeralds and wanted one in an engagement ring. (A colorless gem in a white setting never exactly got my heart racing.)
Like @sweetpea87, I noticed that older women immediately accepted and liked my ring. Their reaction was basically “Thank God, an interesting ring after 30 years!” Whereas younger women tended to need some, ah, processing time. 😉
Now that I’m married and wear the wedding band with the ering, it amuses me to see people look furtively at my hand and think through its meaning. I can see them going from confusion to interest to “Oh, that’s actually very pretty and unique!” Colored gems set you apart from the crowd: rock it!
Post # 19
P.S….DIAMONDS ARE GEMSTONES.
Post # 20
I would not let others get to you. I had a sapphire post-wedding-“engagement”-ring and sometimes people would ask “oh, are those your wedding rings? in reference to the sapphire ring and the band I wore with it.
While I am having a redo due to allergies and going moissanite this time (not trying to pass it as diamond, but people make assumptions), since I am also choosing a very untraditional looking setting, I expect to still hear the same question now and then!
Many people are just NOT used to anything that is not along the lines of a diamond solitaire these days, despite the even more historical tradition of exchanging coloured gems rather than diamonds. I have known people who even had their diamond halos get questioned as they are not “engagement ring like enough”!
I don’t even know what to say when people assume that a sapphire/ruby cost LESS than a diamond. There are rare rubies and sapphires (and other gemstones) out there that cost more than their “equivalent” in an amazing diamond, because of their rarity (rarer than diamonds). If you check your the coloured gems forum on PS you will also see how difficult a process it can be to find the “perfect” coloured gem for the person looking as they are all so incredibly different and unique. The marketing has worked very well, however!
Post # 21
I have a ruby band ring too. And while I love it- I get the same comments “That’s your engagement ring” and the weird looks to go along with it. I am no help because I kinda wish I got a diamond too not because I don’t love my ring, but because other people seem to not like it.
Here’s a pic
Post # 22
@Minutiae: Yes they are, but in a discussion of this context I think it’s safe to say people mean colored gemstones.
Post # 23
@amandasf: your ring is stunning! I have never seen something like that before its awesome.
Post # 24
@KatyElle: After seeing it posted in that context so many times, it’s become more and more of an irritation, haha! It’s a continuation of that whole mindset that diamonds are special. “There are gemstones…and then there are diamonds.” Bah. Diamonds are just extra nice quartz. 😛
ETA: Also, that ruby band is stunning!!
Post # 25
Well, first of all you know I love your ring, because it is one of my favs here. Second, don’t pay much attention to what people say. Like a PP mentioned, we have been brainwashed to believe that diamonds are the only stone for engagement rings and that is not true. As you’ve seen here, there are plenty of other beautiful gems that can be used for engagement rings. Third, cracked up at this “I wanted to shake them and say ‘You a$$holes, I’m engaged!'”…
Post # 26
I might have that boneheaded reaction to a ruby ring, simply because I wear non diamond type rings on my ring finger all the time. The fact that our brains are triggered by diamonds culturally doesn’t diminish the ring or the fact that it’s breathtaking. It may take a nanosecond to catch on, but then the elation is full-on! My bff has a sapphire that I LOVE, for example. I stare at it every time we’re together.
Post # 27
Ohhhh people are fun aren’t they? I let it bother me in the beginning, but now I’m desensitized. I hope the same will happen for you. I think if you have no second thoughts after everyones strange comments, you’ll be happy in the long run. You and your ruby are untouchable, just like me and my sapphire. 😉
Post # 28
I also have a non-traditional e-ring and I absolutely love it. But when I think about it other people are not quick to gush about it. They kind of look at it without saying anything. It hasn’t really bothered me though. People are sheep. 🙂 Forget them and enjoy your gorgeous rock!
Post # 29
Like @sweetpea87:, I have a sorta traditional ring with a diamond center stone, but it’s got pink sapphires around it and the setting’s rose gold. My closest friends and family think it’s unique and completely understand why I chose that ring. It’s definitely my style. But other people almost always start off congratulating me excitedly and then trail off into “Oh it’s pink” in a less than excited, almost disappointed sounding tone. Or “It’s pink?” in a confused tone like they don’t believe that it could possibly be an engagement ring. And don’t even get me started on their reactions when they find out it’s not platinum.
Post # 30
Thanks everyone! At least I know that I’m not alone dealing with this.
Actually some of my favorite replies about the ring are from people I work with. A couple of the guys who work for me were like “Yeah, my wife wanted a ruby (or sapphire) but I was too stubborn to get her one. I didn’t think it counted if it wasn’t a diamond.” I was like “It’s not too late! She’s got other fingers to wear rings on!”
@MrsHoneyC: Here’s the ring 🙂
Post # 31
I think it’s funny that people think he saved money by buying a ruby – aren’t they actually more expensive than diamonds?
I’m sure it’s beautiful and if it’s what you want, it’s perfect. My mom’s e-ring has a sapphire as the center stone, so I guess maybe I just grew up thinking that was more normal than some people who have only ever seen diamond rings. Also, I’m sure once you have the wedding band on with it people will not have any issues.
EDIT: Just saw the picture. It’s gorgeous! It looks like an e-ring to me…