(Closed) Gender Bender- Is this child abuse?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 4
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not sure whether the hormone therapy is the right thing to do or not – I assume the child’s doctors are monitoring the situation.

I just think it’s terrible that both those articles insist on using male pronouns to describe someone who clearly considers herself female. 

Post # 6
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011


Very true, excellent point.

Post # 7
2191 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it’s courageous what the child’s parents are trying to do. 

It’s should be the childs choice in the end IMO. 

Post # 8
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is more common than people may be aware, and I think  the article using an example of a gay couple is trying to incite their readers and make it sound worse (since a lot of people fear that gay parents would make their children gay) 

If a child from the time they are very young insists they are the wrong gender and are miserable, how would I be a good parent to ignore their pleas and let them live a lie?  A lot of the children who grew up feeling like this in the past are now having surgeries to change their gender as adults.  And for a genetic boy who feels like a girl, going through puberty would be TERRIBLE! These parents are simply delaying puberty and allowing their child more time to explore what gender means. 

I cannot believe the article says that this is a disorder of the mind and not the body- is this 1960 when being gay was considered a disease?  I’m sorry but if someone at 2 or 3 years old is telling me this and the feelings continue through to adolescence clearly they were born that way, its not something they learned or just decided one day, and those feelings will never go away.

Post # 9
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It bothers me that the FOX article neglects to mention that Tammy has older brothers which negates their implied argument that the fact that the parents are female is influencing the situation.

Post # 10
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

That really is a hard issue. I honestly don’t know the answer if it is right or wrong.

It does make me think of babies that are born with ambiguous genitalia and are surgically “assigned” a gender in the weeks/months following birth, with a 50-50 chance of getting it “right”.

Post # 11
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

This is not the only story about a child receiving hormone blockers, it’s probably just getting unnecessary publicity because the child’s parents are lesbians. I agree that the Fox article makes it seem way worse then it is.

Here’s another story about a transfered boy with heterosexual parents:


To me, while not ideal, the hormone therapy gives a child more time to make up their mind about their gender. A 10 or 11 year old is not nearly as mature as a 15 or 16 year old, who while still young, should have a better grasp on the permenancy of their decisions.

The treatment is approved for use in officially diagnosed kids and is administered by a licensed doctor. Stage one of the treatment blocks puberty but does not damage the gonads. If the child decides after beginning Stage 1 that they feel they are the gender they were physcially born with, the medication is stopped and puberty is allowed to proceed.

The controvery comes with Stage 2, taking hormones of the desired gender after blocking sexual maturation. This stage damages the gonads and makes the person infertile. This permenancy is why doctors do not get to this stage until the child is older, 15-16 etc. While a child might know for sure at 11 that they want to be the opposite gender, they might later decide they were wrong and Stage 1, the blockers, gives them the extra time they need to mentally mature and make that decision.

Post # 12
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel that they are giving her time to make sure this is the right decision- that she really truly does want to be a girl.

But honestly if she thought she was a girl at three and consistantly has wanted and felt like she was a girl then this is probably the right decision for her.   They aren’t forcing her to do anything. If they were doing this against her will than yes it would be child abuse but she obviously wants this. 


Post # 13
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I don’t know. . I dislike how the articles pointed out that the parents were a lesbian couple . . They are a caring couple who have been together for 21 years.  Amazing in this time of day. 

I just don’t know about giving a child hormones.  My nephew loves someone putting makeup on him. He wants to be a boy, but he loves how all the attention is on him during and after the process.  Even the negative attention. Everyone’s eyes are on him.  I think it is okay for a person to explore their sexuality and be who they think they are, but on the same note I think I would make my child be 18 and done with high school before exploring.

Post # 14
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The child has been wanting too be a girl. And they are delaying puberty giving the child more time to make sure they are sure how is that a bad thing? I think the difference in the 2 articles is very shocking though…

Post # 15
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just worry that he is a little young for these decisions. When I was little I insisted I was a boy, like insisted, I know now it was because I hated that boys got to get dirty and play sports and sometimes left me out because I’m a girl. My family was supportive and silly about it and bought me all birthday cards and gifts for boys at my birthday… then I got over it. I also know a boy who used to wear dresses to school and now he chooses to dress in pants. Kids change their minds.

The sign language thing doesn’t convince me of anything, it may just have been an error/confusion of words.

I would also worry that the parents aren’t really being flexible about it, they’re adament that their child is a girl and may uninentionally make him or her feel like “ok people want me to be a girl, I need to be a girl.” I understand they’re trying to be supportive but sometimes you can accidentally put expectations on a kid. For example when I was a child I got so much positive attention for being a nervous wreck that my parents sent the message that I was right to be so anxious, and I’m still a nervous person.

Some parents are so quick to give their children medication, I dunno… It’s too invasive for an 11 year old IMO. But not abuse.

Post # 16
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

@plantains:  Wow.  That TOTALLY changes the whole story.  I really thought to myself that he may be having gender identity issues because both of his parents are female and he associates closely with both of them and THAT’s why he think’s he should be female too.  But if he has older brothers as male role models that sort of erases that theory.


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