Post # 1
So found out the sex of our baby today and it’s a boy. I was REALLY hoping for a girl. I’ve ALWAYS dreamed of having girls and feel very bonded with girls. Also in my family there are already six grand sons so the pressure was HUGE for me to have a girl. Even people outside our family were pressuring me! I’m also 8000 miles apart from my fiancé, I’m in my hometown, he’s working, so it was all kinda weird and couldn’t talk to him for hours after cos of the time difference and he didnt wake up as we had agreed. I also worry that because im 40 I may not get a chance to try for another baby. This may very well be my only child. I do try rationalize it cos i think that boys are easier to raise, tend to be close to their mothers and tend to be less maintenance etc, but I’m still so mega disappointed. My parents i know are also disapointed. I had heard them talking to others before i found out that they wished for a girl. Thus donno, I feel this baby will not be as loved by my family. I know I should feel blessed cos all looks great but I just can’t get my head around having a boy. I dont even have boy names thought out, much less picked out. This whole pregnancy has been difficult for me, even was diagnosed with depression, so was really hoping for something I’ve always wished for now.
Has anyone felt this gender disappointment? I feel I can only talk to you guys about it. It’s very difficult. Thanks bees.
Post # 3
So do these people ” pressuring” you to have a girl realize that it isn’t really something YOU can control?
Sorry for your disappointment, I have no advice. I hope for your and your childs sake that you come to grips with the gender before he is born.
Post # 4
@cjfs: First of all, *hugs*
One of my favorite bloggers has an article that might help you out a bit. She was hoping for a girl too, but had a boy: http://joannagoddard.blogspot.ca/2011/04/motherhood-mondays-on-having-boy.html
I think that with some time, you will feel better about this. I don’t think it’s very nice of your family to put pressure on you like this… it’s not like you can control it. I am sure your little boy will be loved by your family just as much as a girl would, though!
You can’t change it, and when you meet your little boy you will fall in love with him. You will have awesome experiences.. yes, maybe different than you were hoping for… but it will be magical nonetheless.
I know I am not going to change your mind, but like you say, raising a boy can be easier. And having a girl means the usual bitchy teenage years, worrying about her getting pregnant, dealing with weekly bitch fights (I had a new BFF each week up until high school lol) etc. It’s not all painting nails and having long girl talks. I know you know that… but maybe if you try to focus less on what could have been, it will make you feel a bit better.
It’ll be ok!
Post # 6
@cjfs: Just remember that there are millions of women that face infertility that would give birth to baby goat if they could. Boy or girl… your baby will be perfect and you will love it to peices!
Post # 7
i can’t really help like another mother could, but my Sister in law had her first boy5 years ago, then she wanted a girl.. second child was a boy again (2yrs now)… they were pretty dissapointed, but this little boy is amazing!! She’s on her third now (even thoguh she thought one ws a blessing) and i dont even want to imagine how she’ll feel if its a boy again…. I can’t imagine how you feel. Having another child can’t be out until the doctors say it is! Best wishes for a Happy healthy little one. ::hugs::. im sorry if i’m no help.
Post # 8
First off, huge hugs. I feel as though you are admitting feelings that a ton of women have, but never admit to.
I think most women dream of having little girls to dress up, get cute sparkly things for, etc etc etc. However, the reality is that as long as you have a healthy baby, you are blessed in many ways. I understand that you’re sad, and that’s okay! It’s nothing to be ashamed of. But God has blessed you with a little boy for a reason. 🙂
Post # 9
Once that little guy is born, it totally will not matter in the least! And think about all the cute onsies with bow ties, and those little old man golf hats.
Post # 10
@MrsStrawberry24: I just had a really cute image of a baby goat pop up in my head lol. Wrapped in a little blanket.
Post # 11
@canarydiamond: That’s a great blog! Thanks so much for posting it!
Post # 12
I think it’s normal to feel disappointed when our reality does not live up to our daydreams, but it is a bit like being disappointed with the weather: you can’t change it, and all you can do is try and enjoy life even if it is raining or if the baby has a penis.
Post # 13
@MrsStrawberry24: I do remember the women who can’t have babies as I was myself told that my chances of conceiving naturally were slim. And here I am 16 weeks natural conception.
Post # 14
@cjfs: I can definitely relate (to a point anyway, I am not pregnant) to what you’re saying. I, too, am under a lot of pressure to have a baby of a certain gender. In my case the pressure is to have a boy. I REALLY, really want a boy when I have a child and my family really hopes I have a boy too and I am certain I will feel what you’re feeling if I find out I am having a girl. My family mainly consists of women and of all the relatives of my generation there are NO boys. I have five sisters and all of my cousins are girls. I can certainly empathize with you being initially disappointed.
I don’t have any advice for you, because like I mentioned above I am not pregnant. But I can say for certain that once this initial shock wears off and you name your baby and start to bond with him more as your pregnancy progresses you are going to be so happy you’re having a baby boy! Just picture how freaking cute he’d look if he looked just like your hubby, or how sweet it will be when he says”mama”, or how much fun it will be going to little league baseball games or having squirt-gun fights with him and your husband, things like that.
Post # 15
I don’t know if you will like this advice, but my best advice is to remember that gender doesn’t really make who we are. That baby is a person, your little person, and that is its most defining feature. (I just found out my baby’s gender too and I am trying not to be too attached to gender.) This is something no one can control, least of all our little one 🙂
A huge focus in my life is making the most of whatever comes my way. I even see things as meant to be, or “will work out in the long run, will be for the best.” Try to be open-minded, and that will go a long was in negating disappointments. (Or better yet, help prevent you from developing them in the first place/ manage expectations. Try not to put too much one way or the other on things you can’t control.)
Post # 16