Post # 121
Anonymous1063: I’m fairly sure the phrase “work for a living” is generally used to refer to working in exchange for payment/a salary. I don’t think the poster meant that parents who stay home don’t do any work, but they certainly don’t get paid!
The issue of staying home or working has nothing to do with gender neutral parenting, so let’s not buy into a PP’s attempt to confuse the issue and bring up a ridiculous argument.
Post # 122
Anonymous1063: No need to shoot first and ask questions later. I have nothing against stay-at-home parents. I was raised by one and have the utmost respect for them. “Work for a living” just means work … for a paycheck, not work … at home with children.
My point was that a diatribe about the supposed evils of sending kids to daycare because both parents work outside the home (to say nothing of calling other people’s parenting strategies “a joke”) was off-topic at best and hateful at worst. This thread was already contentious enough without also being an us-vs.-them fight between moms with different kinds of jobs.
Post # 123
IzzyBear: Yeah, great. You can really make a judgment about someone else’s parenting based on a few paragraphs on website. Manipulative? Bulls…..!
You could not be more wrong in your interpretation. I do not have a disdain for everything that is considered traditionally feminine in clothes or appearance, and that is not what I said in my original post. In fact, when I worked actively in college in support of feminist causes, I was occasionally the object of “disdain” myself from women who thought my long hair, painted fingernails, and skirts somehow meant I could not be much of a feminist.
While I am glad women are becoming firefighers and CEO’s, I have always said that the woman, or man, who chooses to be a full-time parent in the home is doing just as important a job.
At the same time, I am glad some aspect of traditional feminine dress have gone by the wayside, such corsets drawn so tight they posed a health risk.
Why don’t you find something better to do with your time than criticize someone else’s parenting based on your misinterpretation of a few paragraphs on an Internet thread?
Post # 124
Not TTC yet, but if I am honest I am a very pink and girly person, but I hope I wouldn’t push that upon a daughter, for a boy I think it would be easier but since I love my pink and sparkle I think I would find it difficult not to paint the room pink and buy pretty things!
Fiance and I are planning on finding out the gender but revealing it at the shower so everything is neutral anyway (fingers crossed!)
Post # 125
Anonymous1063: idk what’s going on with this thread because there are a lot of replies missing and considering there were something like 20+ that thought my post was helpful, I’d say most people got the same impression from your post that I did.
Post # 126
IzzyBear: Big difference between asking me to clarify, as one bee did, and calling my parenting manipulative.
Can’t figure out what your point was. Suppose I had indeed preferred my daughter be a tomboy and unconsciously transmitted that message to her? What of it? Every single bee on here will have a major influence on her children – there is no way around it. She will influence her kids through her religion, lack of religion, politics, dress, relationship with husband, attitude toward alcohol, drugs, money, sex, and the way she chooses to act every single day. That’s life.
By the way, if you think that teen girls are motivated to “please” their mothers, you are in for a rude awakening when the teen years hit.
Post # 127
Anonymous1063: like I said, there are replies that have disappeared and most of the helful votes on my original comment have also disppeared. My point was that you tried to say you didn’t influence yourchild when in my opinion you did. Yes, most parents influence their children’s views on a lot of topics but hey don’t go around claiming their child came to believe those things all on their own simply because of their awesome parenting skills. I’m not saying you did anything wrong in influencing your daughter to not be so feminine but don’t act like you didn’t have a part in it.
By the way, if you think that children aren’t motivated to please their parents, you are oblivious.
We can agree to disagree because I really don’t have anything other to say and don’t feel like repeating myself for the third time.