Gender reveal parties in a time when being transgender is becoming more accepted

posted 1 year ago in Pregnancy
Post # 106
Member
745 posts
Busy bee

It’s just a sex reveal but I don’t have an issue with it. I like celebrating with others and if that’s how they choose to go about yay, I’ll bring a gift and enjoy the festivities! I’m not sure if I’d do it though or how we’d go about it. My Fiance actually specializes in gender affirmation surgeries (facial feminization, phalloplasty, vaginoplasty, mastectomy, etc.) And we’ve agreed that if our children identify as trans, we’d support them 100%. If I were to ever have that kind of party, it’d probably be labeled a sex reveal and let people know gifts can be gender neutral or whatever the guest would like. I think pink and blue are both beautiful colors and I’d be damned if I avoided them just because I was trying to remain “neutral.” I’ll put my girl in blue and my boy in pink if they like it but they’d look just as good in yellow or green or purple. Whether they’re cis or trans, they’ll be my lovely children. Screw whatever anyone else might think.

Post # 107
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

The problem that I have with them is not that each particular child might be trans. It’s a bigger picture idea that every “gender reveal” reinforces the importance of gender in our society. And I don’t think gender should dictate so much in life, regardless of if you identify with your sex assigned at birth or not. 

People who are “PC” are not just trying to make a statement. They typically know someone who is impacted by whatever the topic is and they are trying to be respectful. Call me the “PC police” or just call me “person with transgender friend who she doesn’t want to alienate.” 

To the people saying “if you don’t like them, just don’t go to them,” I’m pretty sure that’s what those of us who don’t like them are doing. We are on a forum where someone is specifically asking about them. If we don’t like them, it’s not like we’re going to show up and scream at everyone and destroy the cake. Someone asked and we’re answering. 

Post # 108
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee

rheedic :  It’s the clothing thing that is curious to me. Why do boys need different clothing than girls? What are boys’ clothes? If you’re using ‘traditional’ boys/girls’ clothes…that looks something entirely different based on the culture, and therein you have an issue: a societal construct of what it means to be male or female for no biological reason. I’m assuming you’re somewhere in NA/Western Europe/Australia based on the typical demographics of this site. Therefore, many ‘boy’s clothes’ have trucks/boats/dinos and feature blues and reds predominantly. So, if you’re only exposing them to those, you’re inherently reinforcing the gender stereotype that being a biological boy means that you have x,y,z interests associated with boys from their very earliest clothing and experiences. So you in fact ARE raising them different than you would a girl. That is why that statement is so problematic. 

Post # 109
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I think the whole concept of having a “gender reveal” party is weird, but I don’t see a big problem with it.

The vast majority of babies will grow up to identify quite comfortably with the sex they were assigned at birth and I see absolutely nothing wrong with raising your children under the assumption that they identify as  that gender until and unless they tell you otherwise.

Parents need to be open about this stuff and in-tune to the ways children express themselves so that they are able to pick up on it and adapt accordingly if their child does happen to identify another way, but I think it’s a bit weird to fixate on a child’s gender one way or the other, ya know? There are parents out there now who are raising their children “gender neutral” in that they won’t buy them *anything* that has a remotely gendered connotation to it, which I think it a bit much. I think kids are better off if you just see what they gravitate to and let it happen. 

Post # 110
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

MooseMeese11 :  Oh calm down, geez. That’s why I put in quotes, I just knew you were going to have such an issue with that.

Reality is, clothing comes from the boy’s or girl’s section. The moment it is purchased for a person, it becomes THEIR clothing, not boy’s or girl’s. But it came from one of those sections and until they can wander over themselves, yeah, some people are going to prefer sticking to the one that “belongs” (QUOTATIONS, IN CASE YOU DID NOT SEE THEM AGAIN) to their kid’s sex. 

Kid isn’t going to hate their parents and think they were supes repressed because they wore pink or blue in baby pictures. 

Post # 111
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

You’re not revealing the gender of the baby, you’re revealing the sex of the baby.

Sex is biological, the equipment you were born with. Gender is social identificaion and personal choice. So, if you still want a gender reveal party but don’t want to offend anyone…do it and use the proper terms for it instead – “Sex Reveal” 😛 

The two are not the same thing and it annoys me (and people in similar lines/education background) no end that so many people conflate the two. There is nothing wrong with a “Sex Reveal”, it’s saying absolutely nothing about other people’s personal choices or anything about genders or how the child will be raised in the future. It’s literally saying “We’re having a baby who will be born with a vagina/penis.” Which part of any of that is offensive or non-PC?

(Granted, some babies are both with both or neither, but that is very rare and often times scans will be unable to pick up on the sex of the child prior to birth. So, in those rare situations, sure….maybe it IS un-PC to have a “Reveal Party” but these cases are rare, most babies are born with one of two possible options.)

Post # 112
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee

rheedic :  I’m sorry you feel the need to respond that way to calm, logical, reasoned conversation. 

Post # 113
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i didnt realizing watching someone cut a colored cake or open a box of balloons could be made so controversial…..

i do agree that the word sex reveal is probably the more anatomically correct word to use for these things, but whos gonna spend good money planning a party by writing the word sex reveal on every invitation, gender just seems to be the more polite word to use. 

i dont see the problem in them, granted maybe a little pointless, i love my friends, but im not oozing over knowing what gender the baby is everytime one of them gets pregnant. I find them just a good excuse to get together with friends i dont get to see very often. I also find more and more people are using a gender reveal as more of a baby shower/reveal instead, so its a one and done thing. 

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