Post # 1
When I talk to people closer to my age I feel like the only thing I get is horror stories about birth and raising a baby lately. I don’t mind hearing the challenges, it will make me feel more normal if I face any similar ones, but it’s been irritating my husband a lot because he knows I’m a bit more sensitive than usual and thinks I’m going to get freaked out.
However, people my parents age, I don’t know if they just forget or were more laid back or what but they all basically say it’s not so bad, it’s a lot of fun, you’ll do great and have been a lot more positive and encouraging with their advice
Anyone else notice this generational gap in advice?
Post # 3
I’ve noticed it a little bit. I think it might be something similar to looking back on your high school years and thinking “Oh brother, why was I so dramatic back then?” You know what I mean? Things always seem better with time.
Post # 4
I noticed the same thing when I asked my mother. I am beginning to think once your children are grown, you tend to only remember the good.
Also, my mother didn’t work (nor did a lot of women in her generation) and I think that has to be factored into them finding parenting a bit easier. I know I was far less stressed as a stay-at-home mom than I was as a working mom.
Post # 5
My mom and grandma were both pretty upbeat with their thoughts and advice about parenting. Then they came and stayed with me for several days when my baby was 3 weeks old and quickly had “oh yeah…” moments. Being a mom to a newborn is HARD. I think that the generational gap in thoughts and advice has a lot to do with how recent the experience is for people in our generation. People in an older generation can focus on how glad they are to have had children and now have a large family, while people in our generation with babies are likely sleep deprived and haven’t gone a day without smelling like spit up in months 🙂
Post # 6
Parenting a newborn (and pregnancy, labor and delivery) is hard! But at the same time, I wish a lot more people had said that everything would be fine, I’d do great, and it’d be fun. I got so many horror stories, even from the older generation, that I was really expecting things to be so much worse. Basically it was only my parents who were really up beat and positive. But the hard parts aren’t as bad as people made them out to be, and the rest is so much better than I imagined.
Post # 7
I think it’s because the older generation has gone through the full process of raising a child. A few painful hours is no big deal looking back.
Post # 8
I also think they were alot more laid back–example a friend was talking to her mom on the phone while her 18 month old child was visiting. Suddenly she asks, Mom where is Child? Mom (child’s G-ma) answers, In the tub (which was down the hall from the corded phone). My friend FREAKED!!
I think in some ways it was easier to parent back then. But try reading a book called Free Range Kids, might help you not be as stressed
Post # 9
Maybe it’s because of time. People your age might have had children recently so they remember every detail. Versus our parents gave birth what 20 or more years ago, so over time, they forget the details. Maybe??
Plus, when my parents had me there weren’t really strict rules on safety. With seatbelts being worn. I remember laying in the back window of our family car. Nowadays, that would be a big no no. I think nowadays we have learned from other generations and so we ‘think’ we know what to do and not to do. I’m still amazed that I am still alive with some of the sketchy things my parents did when I was a child.
Post # 10
I think today there are a lot of high strung mothers out there that don’t really see the big picture. Is it hard? For sure. But does it suck? No way. I think there is also a big difference from talking to those with 2+ children v. those that have newborns. Most of the mom’s that are on their first kid, under 2, stress me out and I tend not to listen to them.
Post # 11
I think it’s partly remembering the good parts, but I also think parents today are too paranoid about their kids, and honestly wear themselves out trying to control everything. I’m a big supporter of the Free Range Kids movement.
Post # 12
My mom always says that the first few years were a piece of cake, and it all goes down hill once they hit junior high hehe.
Post # 13
@KoiKove: I also think they were alot more laid back–
I don’t know what this Free Range movement is, but I’m assuming it’s like old school parenting, letting a child be, not running to them for ever little scrap that isn’t even bleeding. Gonna google this NOW. 🙂
Post # 14
Well I was 20 when I got pregnant, and 21 when I had my son. And I can assure you it is not bad at all. I mean the labor part was for me, but thats about it. Being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and i have never been so happy in my entire life.