(Closed) Generic party etiquette after our wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: WWYD about a party?
    Sure, keep it casual - pot luck is OK in this case : (41 votes)
    87 %
    You need to host, it's just one month after your wedding day, it is an AHR any way you look at it : (6 votes)
    13 %
    I have another idea! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    3942 posts
    Honey bee

    I think it’s fine! My friend has a “Start of Fall” party every year. She grills the main dish and encourages everyone else to bring their favorite appy, side dish or dessert. It sounds like you are keeping it really casual so it’s fine 🙂

    Post # 4
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    i think that’s totally fine! whenever i have partes, ill supply a basa amount of alcohol some sort of main dish and a few snacks, and then offer everyone the chance to bring a fav dish and/or booze. it always works out well! 

    last fall Fiance and I had a pumpkin beer tasting party with cider provided for the non-beer drinkers. everyone bought adifferent 6 or 12 of a pumpkin beer and at the end of the night voted on a winner. it was a great way to have a BYOB party without demanding “BYOB!”

    ETA: i love the idea of asking everyone to share their fav summer pics!

    Post # 5
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    That’s totally fine! Sounds like it will be fun!

    Post # 6
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I do pot lucks but I usually give everyone the option to bring a dish or not. I usually provide the main course/dessert and then friends will throw in some side dishes or other desserts. I usually have BYOB parties, but the last time I threw a party we did a margarita party and we only went through one giant bottle of tequila that was $35 (decent brand that was 100% de agave) plus the mixers, so if you have a good blender it’s a cheap way to provide great alcoholic drinks for your guests. People also brought their own drinks. One friend contributed with a bottle of tequila! We’re all set for the next party now!

    Post # 8
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think a potluck is fine, if people bring a dish they’re generally less likely to think of it as an event to celebrate with a gift. What you’re planning doesn’t sound like a reception, especially if you phrase the invitation something like the following:

    We’re having a get together with some of our good friends.  It would be lovely if you’d join us for a fun evening on September 29.  It’s been a wild summer and we want to catch up with you!

    Darling Husband will fire up the grill in the backyard, we’ll be serving [hot dogs & hamburgers].  The beer will be flowing from the keg [advisor] home brewed!  If you have a favorite dish you’d like to share, that would be great.

    If you plan to join us, please let me know by the 24th.

    Post # 9
    1114 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Go for the pot luck.  But I’m not a stickler for etiquette, so I’m cool with that arrangement in any case.

    Post # 10
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    Even if you called it an AHR, as a guest,  I’d be okay with bringing a side dish, and I voted pot-luck was ok.

    You can call it “the end of summer-we got married-graduation-first party at our home- whew! we have a lot to celebrate-potluck party.” (or something like that.)

    Post # 12
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    That sounds fun. And I *never* have a problem with potluck receptions/parties. It means there’s always something there I can eat.  🙂

    We’re planning a post-elopement “Surprise! We got married!” party (not a reception :). Mostly as an excuse for lots and lots of cake. 

    Post # 13
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No problem with that, even if you call it an at home reception potluck, this idea is still perfectly ok. If you send out formal invites through the mail that would be a bit different, but a casual thing has no problems doing this.

    Post # 14
    9181 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Absolutely!  I think you could also tell you people it’s a little party to celebrate your elopement with your dear friends who weren’t able to be there, as long as you specify very insistently NO GIFTS (since you don’t want one).  If you were my friend, I’d be psyched to bring a dish and come celebrate your marriage / graduation / fall / etc !

    Post # 16
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Hi sienna76:, again CONGRATULATIONS on your recent Marriage.

    Ok, I am a bit of an Etiquette Snob… so let me give you my take on this

    Whenever a couple Elopes and then does a Back Home Reception people are just naturally gonna come out and celebrate with you… fact of life.  And so YES that means there is going to be a chance (good one) that folks are going to not come empty handed and bring you a gift

    And as you’ve noted it it IMPROPER ETIQUETTE to say NO GIFTS so you just gotta go with the flow, and be grateful for whomever chooses to do whatever (discreetly take the Gifts or Cards & tuck them away somewhere safe, so you and Hubby can open them in private later… so as not to embarrass anyone who didn’t bring a gift.  And don’t forget to send out the appropriate thank yous)

    As for the Back Home Reception / Party… the nice thing is you can do whatever you want after you Elope.  In many ways THERE ARE NO RULES.  So make it as formal / informal, big or small as you like.  Tailor it to your personalities.  A Pot Luck or Backyard BBQ is perfectly fine (as is a full on Wedding Reception with a Sitdown Meal, or a Night-time Party with a DJ & Dancing… info I thought I’d provide for any other Brides reading this.  And a Back Home Reception can include a Vow Renewal or Not… Wedding Attire or Not.  As I said there RULES here are pretty loosey-goosey)

    I think it is best tho that if besides it being casual, that you and yours do look at taking on the major expenses… so dishing out for The Keg, Grilled Items, Rolls & Butter, and Dessert might be a good idea… then your Guests can “fill in the blanks” with the smaller items (side dishes and such)

    Call the party whatever you want… just be aware that in the long run, a lot of folks are going to show up to see the two of you, and those Wedding Photos, Celebrate, Hear the Stories etc.

    I am sure you’ll all have a great time.

    As for names… how about the age old Back to School favourite “What I did on my Summer Vacation”… goes well too with the idea of folks bringing along photos etc.  Lol, you could have a bit of a show and tell… encourage folks not only to bring pics, but maybe an “item” too.  Could be entertaining… as you have NO IDEA what folks will turn up with.

    Hoe this helps,


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