(Closed) Genital herpes? At my age???

posted 9 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would make an appointment to get tested and then talk to ure Dr. They will give u the most accurate info. And can go into detail for u.

Post # 4
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

There are meds he can take that will decrease the liklihood of him giving it to you, but it isn’t fool proof. He can pass it on to you even if he isn’t having an outbreak. You should discuss it with your doctors.

Post # 5
28 posts

1. Like PP said, there are meds that can decrease the likelihood of him passing the virus to you. But they’re not 100% fool proof. Even with a condom, there is still a chance he could pass it to you. Miniscule, but not impossible.

2. It’s very likely that you’ve already contacted herpes. Keep in mind that a lot of people who have herpes are asymptomatic. So just because you’ve never had symptoms doesn’t mean you’re in the clear.

3. Yes. Even if he’s not having an outbreak, there’s still a possibility he can pass it to you.

4. Subsequent outbreaks are supposed to be less severe and also less frequent. Some people have an initial outbreak and never have another one for the rest of their lives. Some people will continue to have an outbreak a few times a year. 

Like PP said, you should go see the doctor and get tested. 


Post # 6
672 posts
Busy bee

I’ll add that you should probably talk to your doctor about it. I don’t know how much of a difference is between the different types, but I get cold sores. I won’t kiss my guy as soon as I feel even a tingling in my lip. He has taken the attitude that I don’t need to be so cautious because he likely has it and simply doesn’t have symptoms. There are plenty of people out there who never have outbreaks.

That said, I can’t bear the thought of giving it to him and having to see him get the initial outbreak. I remember my first outbreak and I had to go to the hospital when I couldn’t eat or drink anymore. Granted, I was a child and the memory is probably only so traumatic because I was so young. I just still can’t bring myself to kiss him if I even suspect an outbreak.

It sounds like there’s a good chance you already have it don’t have outbreaks. If you could confirm that, then I think it would be a huge relief that you don’t have to change anything in your relationship. I know I would love it if Fiance would go get tested so I don’t have to worry about even a peck on the lips or a shared glass when I might be getting close to an outbreak.

If you don’t have it, talk to your husband about triggers. If he doesn’t have outbreaks often, there’s probably a trigger for him – illness is common, but I know that mine is also stress. Then you can at least plan around it.

Post # 7
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I developed a large shingles blister on my right butt cheek a few DAYS before our wedding. The ER dr  told me it was from the wedding stress. My husband gets mouth sores occasionally and I’m pretty sure its connected since shingles and herpes are from the same type of virus. After 5 years you are probably affected and wont have to change anything now.

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