Post # 1
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
So this is just one of those posts where something happened this weekend and I’m curious if anyone knows of anything similar happening to people around them?
I went to a winery this weekend with a good friend of mine. I don’t drink so I always offer to drive. My friend’s sister just had a baby a few months ago so she asked if she could tag along as she’s always stuck at home, needs a break, etc. I said of course so the three of us go to the winery.
My friend had a normal amount to drink but her sister got mildly drunk. Nothing too crazy or anything. We were glad she was having a good time. Anyways, we’re sitting there and my friend and I (neither of us has kids, her sister has 3 children) are asking her sister about how hard it is to be a mom, how long to wait to have kids, etc. My friend’s sister has 3 kids. The oldest must be 5 or 6. Then she has a 2 year old and a baby that’s only a few months old.
I was telling her I don’t know how she has two kids under two, that sounds like a ton of work. She said it was but the baby was planned. My friend is confused as she was told their youngest (the infant) was a surprise baby. Her sister then says the youngest was a surprise to her husband but not to her. She was planning on getting pregnant to force her to be able to stay at home. Me and my friend were shocked. So she basically admitted to us that her and her husband couldn’t afford for her to stay-at-home. So she had another baby so the cost of daycare would be too high and she’d have to stay at home. She then proceeded to tell us women do this “all the time” and it’s “not that big of a deal.”
It was one of the most awkward moments of my life as I had only met my friend’s sister a few times. And my friend was visibly pissed off. I talked to my friend about it after and she said she was as shocked as I am. She’s pissed at her sister and she’s going to talk to her about it.
Anyways, I’ve heard of women trapping boyfriends or exes by “accidentally” getting pregnant. But does this actually happen? Has anyone heard of women knowingly getting pregnant by their husband without their husband’s knowledge? I’m just so confused and I’m hoping this isn’t actually a thing.
Post # 2
Member
5476 posts
Bee Keeper
I mean, I’m sure it is a thing because there are some insane people in the world. But I don’t think any moral, well adjusted women actually do this.
Post # 3
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
Well apparently it does as evidenced by your friend’s sister telling you that she has done it. It seems awfully short-sighted though, considering the financial responsibility for each child lasts well beyond the day care years.
Post # 4
Member
8409 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’m pretty sure this is what happened to a family member. He was getting ready to break it off, they were rocky for a while and then she turns up pregnant. He suspects she stopped taking her BCP. Obviously he should have used condoms or just not had sex with someone he was going to break up with, but yeah lol. They’re still together and the kid is 2 now.
Post # 5
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
sarathemermaid : Do I think it’s cool what your friend’s sister did? No. Do I think it’s any of your friend’s business? Also no. What is she going to talk to her sister about. This doodle can’t be undid. They already have the third child.
Post # 6
Member
2361 posts
Buzzing bee
sarathemermaid : I’ve heard of this happening to a couple my friend knows, although I do not know them myself. Unfortunately, it’s not shocking that this happens, it’s pretty disgusting though.
Post # 7
Member
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
Take what she said with a grain of salt, as she was drunk and so happy to be out of the house. having 2 under 2 is really difficult and makes sense that she stays at home if daycare costs are so high. Btw she didn’t “trap” him. He’s her husband and doesn’t seem he wanted to leave before the baby according to your post.
Post # 8
Member
7808 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’ve heard of people getting pregnant to force a marriage but to get pregnant with a third to stay home when you couldn’t afford to stay home with two? It’s hard enough to handle three kids that young, but with the added stress of not enough money it sounds like a recipe for misery.
What exactly does your friend hope to gain by talking to her sister? The ship has already sailed, hasn’t it?
Post # 9
Member
2291 posts
Buzzing bee
I posted a few months ago about this. Women who get accidentally pregnant on purpose. It’s definitely a thing!
Those surprise babies generally arent a surprise. Well to the guy they are. So bad.
Post # 10
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
No… but im not friends with insane women either
This is nuts and just an awful way to bring a baby into the world.
Also your friends sister must be a bit dumb because this is definately financially worse long term.
Post # 11
Member
5289 posts
Bee Keeper
sarathemermaid : I listened to my sil whine and complain for two years about how she wasn’t going to have another baby, how she will never get the girl that she always wanted etc. she even told us that she didn’t need bil in order to have another baby, that she could use a donor.
Then, she expected all of us to be so completely shocked at the oopsie baby that happened as a result of one drunken night together.
It was insulting how stupid she thought we were, but to her credit, my bil was completely shocked and blown away.
We had to hear about the dangers of drunken one night encounters for a few months.
Then when I said that I wasn’t sure if we could have another baby, my bil said “yeah well you never know, I thought I was done too!!” I was like…. yeaaahhhhh…. that will be a joint decision bud.
Post # 12
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
zzar45 : daisy123 : Exactly. I think that’s why I don’t know anyone who this has happened to. Most of my friends and family think things out a little farther…
Post # 13
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
I have a family member who did this. She has a perfectly good degree and was making solid, middle-class money before marriage. Their first was planned and they agreed to no more after that pregnancy, as the husband had a child from a previous relationship already and they felt 2 was a good number. Well, the husband was pressuring his wife to go back to work and she didn’t want to. She wanted to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, so magically they had baby #2 on the way and she’s never gone back to work.
Post # 14
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
i’ve heard of women buying positive pregnancy tests on ebay to trap their boyfriends into marrying them.
Post # 15
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
jellybellynelly : futuremrs2020 : missviolet92 : I was thinking this probably isn’t an isolated thing and probably does happen sometimes. Not everyone makes good decisions!
lifeisbeeutiful : I didn’t want to use the word trap but what would you call it? Trick? I don’t know a better term?