(Closed) Get a gift or not?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
77 posts
Worker bee

I’ve always given a gift at any showers that I helped in planning/throwing.  But if you think about it, you put a lot of money & time into giving a shower – so I don’t think any bride would really expect a gift.  She would do a combined gift with other bridesmaids.  Or, for a recent shower I threw, I got a deep collage frame & put her shower invitation in it with some decorations from the shower (it was a luau, so fake flowers, shells, etc.) and left room to put a picture in there of the bride and her bridesmaids.

Post # 4
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Your question threw me because at first I thought that you were asking if the Maid of honor and bridesmaid were supposed to get gifts at the wedding, shows you I should read more closely.

I’ve thrown lots of showers (bridal and baby) and given gifts, BUT only when I’ve had the extra money to do so and it was normally small. I know that it’s not expected if you are the one paying for and hosting the party. 

Post # 5
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’ve done both, in different scenarios…. for my best friend, I was the Maid/Matron of Honor and I planned a shower with 6 other bridesmaids.  Since having more ‘maids cut down on the cost per person, we also all went in together on a group gift (I think it was less than $50 per person). 

But then, for my now SIL, I helped throw a shower with only two other bridesmaids.  This made things more expensive per person, so we all decided that it wasn’t necessary to get another gift, and the bride was aware that the shower was our gift to her.  She was still beyond appreciative, so as long as the bride in this case isn’t bridezilla, your friend should be fine not getting a gift in addition to throwing a fabulous shower!   If anything, a small hand-made gift from the heart would probably mean more than something off the registry, if your friend still wants to give some token of her friendship to the bride but can’t spend a lot of money.  

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