Post # 31
Member
2729 posts
Sugar bee
Don’t ask her. You can’t plan your entire wedding around everyone else. If you really want that venue… really want a Saturday wedding.. and this is your only option. What will asking her first do for you? I know you’re hoping she’ll say “It’s totally fine!” so you can put your mind at ease. But what if she says “I’d rather you pick another date”. Then you’ll give yourself more anxiety over it.
There’s no reason to care. I know you say she’s a friend and their relationship wasn’t serious but I think there’s more going on with you and your inner feelings towards her if this date is so weird to you.
Post # 32
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
I’d do it on her birthday. There are only so many days during the year to get married. Since she will still be invited it sounds like terms are good, so I say go for it.
Post # 33
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
I’m getting married on my best friend/matron of honor’s 30th birthday. I didn’t have to consult with her, and even if I did I wouldn’t expect her to make me move my wedding day. I’m doing a small cake the day of to celebrate her day also cause, duh, she’s my bestie. But this is an ex, regardless if she’s a mutual friend I don’t see the reason to even think about it. Just book your day and keep it moving, this is only the start of the various things you’ll need to worry about! Happy planning!
Post # 34
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
You even said that your FH didn’t even realise it was his ex’s birthday. I think that’s your answer. 🙂
Post # 35
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
If its a not so serious Ex why is this even a question ? you cannot and shouldn’t live your life differently because of an Ex!
Post # 36
Member
6 posts
Newbee
Thanks guys – I have set the date and will not be changing it – leaving it on the Saturday. I really appreciate that some of these responses were kind and understanding. Wedding planning is stressful, and everyone deals with it in different ways. We could all do a little better by being less judgmental. 🙂
Post # 37
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
Is this honest to God one of your real life problems?
Post # 38
Member
6 posts
Newbee
Timshel: Yup. I, like everyone else, including you, deal with a wide spectrum of problems in life. Some are large and complicated and serious, some are small and simple, and others are just nitpicky issues that bother me enough to consult an anonymous online forum for peoples’ opinions.
Post # 39
Member
13 posts
Newbee
Go with that Saturday. It will be a special day for the two of you no matter what. Don’t worry about things that are not important.
Post # 40
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: July 2015 - Beautiful place.
I’d do it anyways.. It’s no longer her birthday but your wedding day! xx
Post # 41
Member
6013 posts
Bee Keeper
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
oneanddone: here’s my suggestion for reminding yourself why this isn’t weird because I see you have already decided to take the date (yay!)
If she’s an ok enough ex in your book to be invited to the wedding, you must consider her more of a friend than an ex of your FI’s. Know what I mean? she just so happens to have briefly and not so seriously dated your Fiance, clearly everyone is over that since you two are getting married and she is being invited and is still a part of your lives. I feel like if anything, if she’s an ex you would be more concerned with inviting her, but you’re not and are even considerate enough of her to consider speaking with her about your date (glad you didn’t though!). Try and focus on the bigger picture, that you’ll be getting married that day!! yay!
Post # 42
Member
6 posts
Newbee
stardustintheeyes: Thank you!! This is just about the conclusion I came to right before I dropped the venue contract in the postal drop box, securing the date – that she is much more of a friend than an ex. It was a little awkward when we first started dating, so I think that’s where I began worrying. We’ve been together for several years now though, and you’re absolutely right; we’re the ones getting married and if anyone links the two dates in their mind (which they won’t) I can’t change that. It’s only as weird as I make it.
Thank you again to everyone else who was helpful here. 🙂
Post # 43
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
Who cares if it’s the ex’s birthday? Just do it on the day you want.
Post # 44
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
oneanddone: yeah….I would pick another date. I wouldn’t want my SO thinking of an ex and contacting her on a day about us.