(Closed) Get married same year as my younger brother??

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: When should I get married?
    Next fall, 3 months after my brothers' wedding. : (30 votes)
    77 %
    Wait until Fall of 2015. : (5 votes)
    13 %
    Quickie wedding this fall. : (4 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    It really depends on what you’re asking of your guests. Is your family (besides your brother) local? If so I think 3 months is a nice cushion between the two weddings. 

    Post # 5
    3770 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    The rational answer is that everyone only gets one day, let alone a month or a season, so next year fall should be fine to do a wedding.  However, when it comes to weddings people get pretty emotional.. I mean, look at how many threads are on the Bee where people complain that their friends are getting married the same year!  We got married two months apart from DH’s cousin and even that seemed a bit much (mainly because they were destination weddings for all the aunts and uncles… but I also felt like those same aunts and uncles also compared our weddings for better or for worse).  If you don’t mind waiting for the sake of your brother, I would say wait until 2015.

    Post # 6
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @montito:  I think three months is fine then, as long as you’re not asking your parents for money or they’re in a really good financial situation. Can you imagine funding two weddings within 3 months of each other? 

    I would also talk to your parents, your brother and his Fiance first.


    Post # 7
    479 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’d say, 3 months is enough time.  Since you are doing something small, I don’t imagine it would cause too much controversy.  But talk to them.

    Post # 8
    7738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @montito:  If 99% of guests are local then there’s no problem. The only reason for spacing weddings is so guests don’t have to travel twice. So I’d say 3 months, even 2 months, is an ok spacing in your case.

    Post # 9
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We live 3 states from my sister in law, and 6 months before our wedding she asked us if we would be able to make it to her wedding 2 months after ours.

    We knew that Right after the wedding we wouldn’t  have the cash for a out of town wedding.  We told her we couldn’t make it if the wedding would be 2-3 months after ours, and we’d send our best wishes. 


    There was no way we could afford 3k for the flights, hotel, food for us, a gift, the clothes & makeup, AND the time off. We had to save all our vacation for our honeymoon and we didn’t have anymore. We were not going to postpone our honeymoon for her wedding. Her wedding isn’t more importent then ours, she knows our finanical situation and knew our stance. Had she chosen to get married then I’d be mad if she would have held it against us.


    Think about how long they’d need to take more time off, how expensive the flights are, how expensive the hotels would be, and IF they have it in their budget to travel so soon after their own honeymoon.

    Post # 10
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I definitely don’t think so, but then again, Fiance and I are holding our wedding 5 weeks after his brother’s (we got engaged 2 months after them, but have known our wedding month and year for a very long time). When we told them, they didn’t seem to care.  I’m a firm believer in the “you only get one day.”  Plus 3 months is plenty of time, and it’s not like it’s a distant relative, I’m sure in the end your brother and his Fiance won’t mind travelling out for one day for you guys.

    Post # 11
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    It’s up to you. I’m in a similar situation except I’m in your brother’s shoes. I got engaged last year and getting married next June as well. But, my older brother just got engaged and is already getting married in November, even though he’s been dating his fiance for a much shorter time than me and my fiance. It is only slightly annoying 🙂 I think either Fall 2013 or Fall 2014 is fine. I don’t see the point in waiting until fall 2015 though (in your situation – even though that is how long I was engaged).

    Post # 12
    7738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MissFireFlower:  Maybe you had higher air fares, but we’ve got an interstate wedding later this year and it’s costing us about $250 per person in air fare (return) and the rest of the costs are pretty low. Also no time off work because we fly out Friday night and fly back Sunday afternoon.

    Obviously your situation is different but I’m just pointing out that an interstate wedding isn’t necessarily a huge deal for OP’s brother.

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