Post # 1
In the past christmas’ she had given gifts to some, but not me. When DH and I were engaged for instance, she got him a sweater but nothing for me. Now, I totally respect adults not exchanging gifts with each other, but this gets kind of sticky. I, never knowing if I should or shouldn’t always get her two gifts-one from DH and I, and one I wrap up from his daughter made out “to grandma.” But she has never gotten me a gift, her son -my husband yes. And she also didn’t give us a wedding gift.
It’s not about receiving a gift or keeping things equal, it’s that will she take more notice in me not bothering to get her a gift this year, or more notice that I KEEP on giving her a gift regardless of the fact that she has more/less expressed to me that she has no interest in getting me any gift.
Post # 3
I would give one gift, signed by you, your DH and DH’s daughter.
Post # 4
Ouch that is a sticky situation.
Last Christmas, we were very tight on cash, so in lieu of a gift for my then-BF’s mom & dad I just brought over a potted stephanotis plant & some cookies.
I didn’t expect to get anything from her as she had pretty well expressed that she didn’t like me at that point.
I ended up getting gifts from her, DH’s dad, and all his sisters. I felt like crap. This year I’m getting everyone a gift.
We have a much better relationship now so I would have gotten her a gift anyway, but I think that even if she had continued to hate me after the wedding, I would still get her a gift. That way I would just feel like I’ve made the effort and therefore can’t be blamed for how she feels. Then if anything, she’d look bad, not me.
That’s what I think I would do in your situation. Take the high road and get her something (not neccessarily anything big or expensive) just to show that you’re making the effort, even if she isn’t.
Post # 5
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
One gift signed by both of you, small token from the granddaughter. (not sure how old she is, but maybe a lovely macaroni necklace or painting of the family or some such) I wouldn’t give her any way to say anything bad about me…. be the bigger person and shove it in her face. But subtly. Subtle shove. Ugh, good luck with that, that sounds awful!
Post # 6
For adult relatives we do one gift, signed with the whole families name. The only exception would be something like a mug that says “worlds best grandma” or something similar- that I would wrap as just from our LO. I’d just give her one gift from your family and call it a day.