(Closed) Get over it or tell him what I want?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 31
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

It sounds like he gave you just the understated proposal you wanted. He must be gutted at your reaction. If you say anything to him at all I think it should be an apology for giving him a hard time over it.

Post # 32
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I would appreciate it for what it is…a man whom loves you while covered in baby puke and surrounded by a dirty house. 

Nothing is stopping you from doing a proposal of your own with cute factors to it that you can still smile on and enjoy.

My fiancé and I custom made my ring so we were long agreed to be engaged when that started. However, he is still going to do the proposal because he feels like he should. What he doesn’t know is I’m planning to do one for him as well. Doesn’t matter whose comes first. 

If you need a repeat, I encourage you to do it. Maybe he will see what you plan and try to plan something special for an anniversary in the future.

Either way, congrats to you on the engagement and I hope the planning goes well!!

Post # 33
12683 posts
Honey Beekeeper

If you don’t think the proposal was incredibly meaningful and special because it was real life, because it came from him, and because he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, then you are sadly missing the big picture. 

Three years is plenty long to know the person you are marrying. He’s not you, doesn’t necessarily interpret things the way you would and you don’t get to program him. Believe me, he already knows how you feel from your reaction in the moment. Which is worse, not getting to be all dressed up for a Pinterest moment or hurting the man you love? 

At this point, why don’t you ask him to go out and celebrate your engagement? 

Post # 34
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

hannahelizabella23:  definitely get over it. You sound extremely ungrateful. Wanna hear my proposal? We were walking on the beach after dinner, and I REALLY had to pee. So being the lady that I am, I squatted behind some rocks and peed. I ended up peeing on my own feet. 3 minutes later, my Fiance proposed. It was the most romantic moment of my life (I’m not even joking!) and I didn’t even care that I had basically just peed on myself. To be honest, it was very “us” lol! Be thankful that the love of your life and father of your child asked you to spend forever with him. 

Post # 35
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Another one who thinks life should resemble a fairy tale or romantic movie. Look, he chose to do it the way he did; a do-over at this point would be asinine. Deal.

Post # 36
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I think men dont put much thoughts about settings. You were the only important thing in his eyes at the time and he cant hold back his feelings

If it makes you feel better, my proposal went like this. We were watching TV, he was like, hey you wanna get married? No ring nothing. I was beyond joy though. The only thing I worried about is that ai dont have any cool story to tell our kids 

Post # 37
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

You can certainly feel however you want to feel.  But you need to get over it and move on.  In the end it is not how he asked, but the fact that he asked you.

Post # 38
2852 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

My FI’s proposal to me wasnt very romantic… if I had it my way it would have been a little more romantic,., but I would never tell him that. The man of my dreams wants to marry me!! Whats there to complain about?! 

Post # 39
2004 posts
Buzzing bee

Who knows…maybe he had your dream proposal planned out, but couldn’t wait any longer and wanted to ask you RIGHT then and there. I kind of doubt he thought to himself “ahh, I should wait until the baby pukes. That would be the perfect time!” 

Either way, HE is asking YOU to marry him. I don’t think you get to dictate how he should ask, what you should be wearing, where he should ask, etc. You’re engaged. Keep it moving and plan your wedding. Make it as grand or showy as you want, but you don’t get to re-do your proposal. 

Post # 40
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

hannahelizabella23:  rather than a do-over, how about getting a babysitter for one night, getting all dressed up and having a romantic dinner out together to reconnect and celebrate your upcoming marriage? 

Post # 41
14987 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There’s no do over, that is how he proposed.  Any other would just be a fake setup of a “proposal” imo.  Tell him what you want?  You want to plan your own proposal?  I mean, really, what’s the point of that?  Might as well go find the ring and just put it on your own finger at that point….

Post # 42
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

hannahelizabella23:  I think that was a romantic proposal! He saw you at your worst/most frazzled and he still was compelled to get down on his knees! 

Post # 43
11482 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

UK-bee:  Great post. This is along the lines of what I was trying to say earlier, but you’ve described it better and much more concretely than I did (and I also didn’t consider that she may want to have others around to help celebrate.) Nice suggestions!

Post # 44
341 posts
Helper bee

hannahelizabella23:  Your proposal was your proposal–there are no do-overs in life. I think asking for a do-over would unnecessarily hurt his feelings and taint a moment that he tried to make special for both of you. For what it’s worth, I think your proposal was romantic. It seems like he is so in love with you that he could not help but propose to you. You were tired and sick and, yes, there might have been a mess, but your fiance could not contain his love for you and his desire to become your husband, and I think that is true love.

Why don’t y’all plan a romantic evening together and spend part of the night discussing why you are perfect for each other and why you are excited to get married? I think that would help seal the deal and give you a more traditionally romantic moments to remember as well. 

Post # 45
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would try to move on.  I think all too often it’s easy to slip into the proposal is all about me/what i want mindset.  It may not have been your dream proposal, but maybe it was special to him?  Well, at least it was special to him until you accepted in the way that you did.  Getting engaged isn’t all about you.  It’s about your Fiance as well.  If anything, I would apologize for your reaction because he might be hurting too.  It probably wasn’t just one person in this situation who was disappointed in how things went.

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