- 6 years ago
We all have pet peeves when it comes to our SO’s, but if this continues to happen with us, I could definitely see it being the reason I would end our relationship. I hope it never comes to that, because I really do love him.
He comes from a long line of “my way or the highway” people, most prevalently his father. In their house, opinion is fact and anyone who disagrees with them is just flat out wrong, no exceptions. My family is the opposite. I came from a family that raised me to be open minded and to see things from both sides. Needless to say, this was a total culture shock when it kept happening again and again.
I’m just getting really tired of my SO correcting me on EVERYTHING I DO. I say something is turquoise, he says, “No, it’s teal.” I will obviously be exaggerating in conversation and say “There were like 100 people in line!”, and he’ll say “No, actually there were 12.” It’s not even correcting me on factual things either. I’ll say it might rain or something as silly as that, and he can’t just say “Yeah, it might.” He has to go on some long rant about how it absolutely won’t rain today and here are the reasons why…And he does this for almost everything I say.
He corrects me on how I drive my car, where I keep things in my apartment, lights being left on…None of these things are necessarily incorrect. They are just not “his way”. He wants everything to be done as logically and efficiently as possible. He’s not a jerk about it most of the time, it’s just frustrating. If it were any other guy, I would just tell him to go f*ck himself.
I guess this is just worrying me, because we’re moving in together soon. If I have spend the whole time walking on eggshells around him, I’ll go crazy. There are times when I say “Look, this is just how I do it, okay?” and he backs off, but it’s just so exhausting to do that for every little thing.
When I think about a future with him, I see our (hypothetical) kids growing up in a stifling environment where they develop inferiority issues because their father never thought anything they did was right or good enough (like his dad does to him all the time.) I’ve tried talking to him about it, but there’s really no tactful way to point out things in another person’s family effectively without them getting defensive and offended.
I’ve been discussing this with a counselor for a few months now, and after describing his tendencies and idiosyncrasies, we both agree there is a good chance he (and his father) might have a very mild case of Asberger’s Syndrome. If this is true, it would explain the way he’s so obsessive about every little detail being exactly correct all the time. The counselor and I also discussed the possibility of it being OCD, or OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder), but nearly all of his symptoms fall under the Asperger’s spectrum. He’s know all about Asperger’s syndrome, and even makes jokes about another guy he thinks might have it. I know I should talk to him about this, but I have no idea how to go about it, or how to even bring it up.
If it is Asperger’s, I will be more than happy to adapt to his special “routine”, because I know it’s not his fault, and I want to help him. If it isn’t Asberger’s and he’s just like this, I don’t know how much longer we are going to last…