Post # 31
BalletParker: Im not talking about women being nasty. That’s a completely other topic, what i stated was that if the OP is attractive SOME women can find that threatening and not feel comfortable persuing a friendship with her.
Its not an excuse for other women not liking her, its actual fact and there are studies done on the effect that physical beauty has on other women.
I agree with you most women are not rude or nasty to someone who is beautiful but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are comfortable being friends with them.
Here is a link to an article on Psychology Today
In there it clearly states that some women are threatened by beautiful women out of fear that they may steal their man away.
It clearly states there that out of the 10 top things that women find threatening of other women the top 1 is beauty.
Post # 32
princessforever77: Please. The whole “women don’t want to be friends with other women if they’re attractive” thing is such a crock. There are women who perceive themselves as being hot and are insufferable as a result, and that’s why they can’t make friends – not the way they look. OTOH, I have a few friends who are gorgeous enough to be models or celebs (like get stopped on the street and told how beautiful they are by people who aren’t trying to hit on them), and they all have lots of female friends because they have great personalities.
Post # 33
princessforever77: steal their man away? Lol I can’t with you.
I used to be a professional model. I’ve had tons of women friends my entire life. Of course I grant you my friends aren’t the type who judge people based on their looks or see other women as a threat, as you clearly do.
Post # 35
princessforever77: It’s worth noting that Psychology Today is pop science drivel. Read that article you posted a bit closer and you’ll see that it’s support for women being threatened by beauty is NOT any kind of study, but actuallly this listcicle on the ten things most threatening to women. And it’s some sexist crap.
Post # 36
If you already have a tight nit group of women friends, and plenty of male friends why do you need more friends? I don’t understand your problem I guess..And yeah your generalizations are offensive and sexist.
Post # 37
Sassygrn: I’m more partial to Pom Pom edges 😛
Post # 38
ABusyBride: thanks, I was wondering how to explain that but you did it perfectly.
Post # 39
- Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods
I’ll second what other STEM ladies have said here. When I was younger, I much preferred friendships with guys. They were more like-minded to me and were simpler relationships to maintain. You hang out, fish/camp/play videogames/watch sports and there’s no drama. As I’ve gotten older I’ve made more friendships with women, but they’re almost all STEM women, so they think/act like me.
I’ve tried to make friendships with women who judge others by their clothes or career choice (I’m an aquatic biologist- so I like to play in the mud!) and they just don’t work. Not saying that you ladies who differ from me are like that btw, just my experiences. I’m never going to care if my shoes match my jeans, and non-intellectual conversation often bores me to tears (sorry throw pillow conversation-lovers!)
Honestly, female friendships, even with like-minded women, are harder to maintain, but they are inherently worth the work. I have never had the depth of a relationship that I maintain with my girlfriends with any guy. (My relationship with my husband has lots of depth, but in a different way than with my GF). It may be you, it may not be, I don’t know you, but keep trying! And I think they have made some kind of match dot com like app for friendships btw, though I can’t think of it’s name currently.
Post # 40
SithLady: Yay fellow STEM women! Sounds like you get what im talking about even if i articulate it poorly at times.
It’s not an issue of having conflict with women. Its making the initial connection and finding like-minded people that can be such a struggle and feels discouraging.
I personally don’t care what other humans care to talk about or take interest in and don’t make “good person” “bad person” judgements based on that.
Post # 41
BalletParker: Listen i don’t know you but i’ve seen on several occassions that you have been quite catty This isn’t the first time i’ve read your catty replies. If you have aproblem take it somewhere else. I’m entited to an opinion and if it doesn’t correlate with yours than so be it. Everyone has a different perspective and different experience on life.
I’m happy for you that you were a model, i’m sure you had a great career and i’m glad you’ve been blessed with great friends. My experience has been different and i know the role i’ve played in that.
Having said that i have no interest in engaging in nasty behaviour. We’re all here to help and while everyone has a right to disagree NO ONE should be on here making snide remarks. That behaviour belongs in high school.
Post # 42
Aqualov: Dito. Thanks for getting it. Its not a judgement on other women. In fact I KNOW its me. thats. the whole. issue. I rarely find like minded people.
Post # 43
ClaudiaKishi: Oh damn, I forgot about those!
Post # 44
ClaudiaKishi: No, no, no. You’ve got it wrong. Pom pom edges are not feminine/girly enough. I say fringe! With a bit of velvet thrown in, for good measure…
Post # 45
princessforever77: I’m catty because I am telling you that your ideas that women are terrified that other women will steal their man prize are not universal? Hm. Ok.
thanks for your input and the lecture on how we should all be behaving. most helpful.
Please note that you are the one qualifying me as catty, snide, etc. I haven’t said anything like that to you.