(Closed) Getting along with the Mother in law

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1765 posts
Buzzing bee


I’ve seen posts here somewhere where BMs gowns have cost more than $200-300.00

before, but I think that can be hard for some BMs to swallow, particularly if it is not

something they will likely wear again, but honestly I think $150.00 is definitely within

reason-especially since no  one else is complaining.  After all, it’s not your fault that this

young girl needs the regular Bridesmaid or Best Man size!  lol.   Are your Future In-Laws paying for some of the wedding? 

Or are they just paying for the rehearsal dinner?  Do they seem like they are hurting for

money?  I guess those questions are beside the point.  It might be worth it if you and your

Fiance can pay the difference if you can, in order to keep family peace.  If it is hard for you, and

they are not contributing to the wedding, maybe your Fiance can go to bat with his mother for

you.   If it is difficult for you to pay the difference, maybe you could find an unused or gently

used one that is close enough in size to be altered to fit her.   You might want to try WB

classifieds/looking for or Craigslist sites!  I actually bought 5 NWT Bridesmaid or Best Man gowns for the total

price of $200.00 plus shipping.  ($40.00/gown)  BTW-I’d like to know about the program

you are in re: Wedding Planner if you wouldn’t mind emailing me.  Thanks.




Post # 4
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think $150 dollars is perfectly fine for a Bridesmaid or Best Man.. My girls chose a dress that they like for $200.. It sounds like a lot of money but its worth it.. I think soon to be mother in law is trying to give you a hard time because she feels like you are setting her daughter up.. your sister is paying less than her daughter.. Shes just being rude right now..

I really dont know how you can go about it and not making your Mother-In-Law angry.. I wish i could help you out more.

Post # 5
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

quite frankly the only reason shes paying more for her daughter is because she needs to order a bigger size dress. not your fault. its the same if she was unusually tall and would have to order extra length.

for instance i wanted to keep my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses right around 100 for my girls. and picked a style that came out to $109. My future SIL had to order a size 24, which carries an extra charge of $50 i believe. I am not factoring how much extra it costs for plus size dresses because ALL plus size bridal dresses cost more. so unless you want to get something from the rack for $20 or something no dress you choose will be under 80$ for her.

not to be rude or anything but its not your fault that she had to order that larger size.

BM’s pay for their dresses. its part of them being in the wedding. and if they cant pay for it then they shouldnt accept the job of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. the Mother-In-Law needs to put up or shut up.

but i wouldnt say that to her of course. people get touchy about weight. explain it to your FH and let him deal with it. its his family.

Post # 6
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree that it’s not your fault she had to order the larger size, but it’s also not her fault that you picked a dress she can’t fit into.  If one of your bridesmaids couldn’t fit into the dresses you had selected, how would you handle that situation?

I think the best way to handle this situation is with some kind of compromise.  If his family is unable or unwilling to pay for the more expensive dress, can you and your fiance pay the difference?  If you can’t pay the difference, would you be willing to find another dress for the junior bridesmaids closer to their budget?  I think this is a sensitive subject (size, money, etc) so if you issue an ultimatum, it’s not going to end well and these people are about to be your family!

Post # 7
2821 posts
Sugar bee

For a bm dress $150 isn’t a ton but for my bm we didn’t go over $100, it’s what everyone seemed comfortable with so I can see both sides.  The only thing is if you’re asking someone to buy something you kinda have to be flexible with what they’re comfortable with.

What dress are you using? Perhaps we can find a cheaper option somewhere or a similar option for cheaper.

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