Post # 1
I recently got an email from a friend who I haven’t been that close to for some time asking for an address. Since she’s getting married soon and I can’t think of any other reason she’d need my address, I’m thinking I’m getting an invite (not assuming, obviously).
Even if I am invited, I don’t plan on going. A best friend of the groom and I have a – hmmmm how do I put this? – history together and there’s bad blood there, so I’m just not even gonna go there with that wedding.
So my question is, do I have to invite them if they invited me and I’m not going to go? Right now they aren’t even on my B list, and if I do end up having to invite them, that opens the floodgates for other people who I wasn’t planning on inviting.
Help! I NEED to stick to 150 absolute max.
Post # 3
I’m no etiquette expert, but I’d say you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite them. I’d just politely reply to her email asking for an address, and then politely decline if a wedding invite arrives. She may not even know you’re getting married, or be so wrapped up in her own planning that she doesn’t even give a second thought to the fact that she isn’t invited to yours.
Post # 4
No, you don’t have to invite them. Invite who you want to invite.
Post # 5
I agree that you don’t need to invite them…
I had just dealt with a situation like this recently…. I had gotten invited to some weddings that I was not very close to the bride and groom. I didn’t go to these weddings (all of them were out of town anyway). I did end up inviting them to my wedding, however, my wedding will be out of town for them, so i don’t think they will come… I am a softy and couldn’t stop feeling guilty about not having them on the guest list… so I added them and now I am waiting to get their rsvp back. we’ll see….
Post # 6
@Kittyachi, you do not need to feel obligated to invite them to your wedding. You have the right to invite who you wish to share the day with even if they invited you to theirs. As the other ladies had mentioned, you can politely decline the RSVP and go on about your business.
Post # 7
Yeah, I would say you don’t need to invite them. Who knows what that bride’s guest list looks like and if she has a ton of people coming or simply does not know that many people. You could be filler! (Not to be mean, just to make you feel better)
Post # 8
NOPE. I’ve gotten a few invitations to weddings and I’ve just been like, "welp, they aren’t getting an invite to mine". I’m not really "friends" with these people so I wonder if some of them are gift-phishing. Friends whose weddings i cannot attend, I do send a gift. But people who i’m going "whaat? why’d they invite me?!" i don’t send a gift.
Post # 9
I was actually on the opposite end of this. I was planning on inviting my little sister’s BFF and her bf to our wedding. Then, a few months ago, they got engaged and chose our same date. They sent Save-The-Date Cards right away (we hadn’t sent ours out yet) to my sister and to my parents, but not to me. My sister and my mom called to tell me that the friend had chosen our same date, like what are the chances? Obviously my family will decline the invitation! But I took the friend and her fiance off my list. They won’t be able to come anyway, and they weren’t planning on inviting me to theirs.
So I guess it’s sorta the opposite, but I had fair warning. No one knows they were axed from our list, not even my sister.
FWIW, I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t invited, but now that we are spending all our money on wedding things, I don’t think we could have afforded to go to theirs anyway, so it was sort of a relief.
Post # 10
Nope, you invite who you want. You could send them a nice congratulatory card if you want just to be nice, but you don’t have to invite everyone that ever invited you to their wedding. HTH!
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2010 - The Pierre Hotel
I don’t think you need to reciprocate. I’m in a similar situation (or will be) – I heard from a mutual friend that I will be invited to a wedding of someone who I hadn’t spoken to in 2 years – no drama, we just fell out of touch. I don’t think I’ll be attending that wedding, and I don’t think they’ll be totally offended if I don’t send them an invitation to mine.
Post # 12
invite who you want. sure we all feel obligated to invite others if we were invited to theirs but the truth is, im hoping they won’t even come so i don’t have to go to theirs, i mean i have too many weddings to go to this year and yes, i did invite those who invited me to theirs as a courtesy type thing but the thing is, i really wouldn’t have cared to be invited to theirs and im sure its the same for most people
Post # 13
Don’t invite out of obligation. Weddings are too expensive to do so (unless you’re rich)
My FI’s coworker invited us to their wedding, which is a week before ours.
We’re not sure if we are going (it will prob. be crazy) but I have no intention of inviting them to ours. We have a strict no coworker rule b/c it will add too many.
Post # 14
No, you dont have to, just be aware that she might have some hurt feelings. Its not your fault or rude of you, but might happen anyway. Just be aware of it.