(Closed) Getting Annoyed with BFF… anyone else have similar issues?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

repeat after me, “this is not my life, It is none of my business what she chooses to do, and I can’t control her actions or let those actions effect my life.” 

ok now let me say I totally understand. I have two friends who are also pretty self destructive sometimes. Similar things, the guys, the jobs, eating like crap (but want to loose weight), smoking (when they harp on other ppl for doing it)  etc. And who do you think they always come crying to when something bad happens. Yes it’s frustrating sometimes and it’s hard to watch people you love act in ways that aren’t in their best interest but you need to realize that they will only change when they are ready And as a friend your only place is to be supportive of whatever actions they take. I’m not saying you need to support the bad habits, but you can’t force her to change just because you took the next steps towards your future goals already. Some of that, like meeting the right guy, came down to luck and you can’t punish her just because you got lucky, you used to do the same exact things with her (vent abt guys Etc.) 

its hard when you grow up and your priorities change, ESP when you are happier and you want that for your friend but just like you did it on your own she has to as well. When she is complaining about a boy just LISTEN. don’t spend hours of your time giving advice because she won’t take it. Just be her friend and let her vent because that’s all she really needs. The convos will get shorter and you will get back to your day faster. obviously contribute to the convo but dont lecture her or try to make her see the light. It won’t happen. Trust me maybe your lucky you no longer have guy issues but there will be days you have your own issues and still want to cry to her about them. 

You litterally sound exactly like me a few years ago. Thankfully I never stupidly pushed away my friends or gave up on them because they have def grown and changed and I would be devistated if they weren’t in my life. Sometimes there are still things they do and say that are hard to watch but I repeat above mantra and just love them for who they are. Maybe they won’t ever fully grow into the person I know they have the potential to be but that’s ok, it’s not my life. Your BFF might grow and change she might not, time will tell if you will continue to find things in common or not, you might grow apart fully you might not. You won’t always be at the same poinT In life as your friends, everyone does things like get married and have kids, buys a house, goes on a diet, runs a marathon etc. At different stages. Maybe you just become dinner friends and she goes out after and you go home to your husband and baby. Who knows. Learn from this, you will grow a lot from it too!

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