(Closed) Getting brides maids to pay for dresses?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I may be in a similar situation as your friend. I’m unemployed and have had to buy a VERY expensive dress for a friend’s wedding (almost twice the price of yours). It’s really set me back, and I’m upset my friend didn’t help cover the cost like she said she would, but she’s important to me and we’ve been friends for oer 15 years. However, I haven’t been taking myself on trips. It’s likely that she doesn’t want to be there as your bridesmaid – sorry.

Post # 4
Member
45627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would tell her that I value her friendship and want her to be my MOH, but the clock is ticking. I need her to pay for the dresss by a certain date or she won’t have it, then  leave it up to her. Go ahead and order the other girls’ dresses so there are no delays receiving them.

We never really know why other people do the things they do or don’t do the things they don’t. We can’t make judgements about how she spends her money. She may be travelling because she is actually panicked about being unemployed and trying to keep up a pretense that everything is fine.

Just stick to the issue fo her paying for the dress and getting it ordered.

Post # 5
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

whoa, i dont think id jump to her not wanting to be in your wedding so quickly!

if you dont fully understand the reason she took her last trip, maybe there is something going on that she isnt ready to open up with you about just yet? maybe the friend financed her trip? maybe it was planned in advance and she didnt tell you about it? my point is there are A LOT of reasons why people do what thet do. i do agree that is really annoying that she hasnt bought the dress yet!! but you still have some time. 

i know weddings are a huge drain on the wallet, but is there a way you could buy the dress and then make a payment plan with her? $25 a month or something? 

Post # 7
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Is there any way you could help her out in purchasing it and have her pay you back?

Post # 8
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Seems like excusses to not pay for the dress. If you can afford vacations you can afford the dress. Do you really want friends like that in your wedding party anyways? And $105 is extreamly cheap for a bridesmaid dress. Im not buying her story.

Post # 11
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Not saying that it is right or wrong but maybe her vacations are a higher priority than her BM dress with what money she does have. I’d just order it so as not to delay any further and have her pay you back. 

Post # 12
Member
7999 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

In the UK and in many other countries then the bride must pay for anything she wants her maids to wear on the day (ie if she wants them to wear certain, specific shoes, she must pay for those as well). Your friend is broke, and she may also have reasons for travel. Maybe she is looking for a job? Even if she isn’t, it’s her money and you are imposing an extra financial burden upon her (however gently/inadvertantly etc). So I think you have to bite the bullet and speak to her frankly about the money. If she can’t or won’t pay by a certain date, she must either step down, or have you pay for the dress (NOT as a loan, but as a gift). Those are really your only two options. Sorry.

Post # 13
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Evhrive:  oh no, you arent being irrational. i would be frustrated too. i have a friend in my BP who is equally irresponsible with money and it drives me nuts (we used to live together and rent was frequent late because he was terrible with money). but ive known him forever and thats who he is. i am sure it will be like pulling teeth to get him to get his tux and ill be here ranting about it too!

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