(Closed) getting engaged at 19

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 107
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar

@chantellet94:  I would say absolutely wait a bit more….i met my SO when i was only 12 started dating him at 15 now i am 25 and he is 27. We knew at a very young age we wanted to get married…we are crazy in love with each other but we also wanted to finish school and be financial stable. I will say this who i am today is very different then the person i was at 19. We have changed so much and even though we wanted to get married we had our share of fights…im sure that marriage or been engaged would have put more pressure at that time. We are planning to get engaged soon and get married by the time i am 26 and he will be 28. Both of us are finish with school and we are both in a very different place in our relationship then we were when we were 19. 

Post # 108
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

Edit: I just saw that this was posted forever ago. Damn bumping old threads. I’m deleting my response, lol. 

Post # 109
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@chantellet94:  I got engaged at 19 in July 2012.  Now we’ll be getting married at the end of May- we’re both 21.  We really didn’t have too much criticism at all, and the people we did hear a little from turned out just to be jealous that they weren’t getting engaged anytime soon.  It sounds like you guys really have everything together, so what is waiting for you to get a little older going to do?  You’re already stable in life, so it’s not like you’re going to be more stable down the road.  The people you might find criticism from are the ones who don’t understand that you have everything together, and their opinions shouldn’t be important to you because they clearly don’t know you.  If you guys are ready, I don’t think there’s any point to delaying your lives together!

Post # 110
Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

 

Age is only a number.

I got married at 20 almost 21 and I often wish I would have waited to get married cause I missed out on a few thigns, but really we already lived together and not much changed, except now we try harder!

IF you both know with out a doubt at all go for it.

But know marriage isn’t a world of roses and unicorns and stuff…. its HARD! and you have to commit 100% and give it everything and never quit!

Also if you can handle a long engagment ! that would be my suggestion! go ahead get engaged make dreams and plans for the future and SAVE some money if you are seriously stable go for it

 

DON”T LET ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE!

 

try to learn from others but you are your own boss and your own individual! Be free and confident!

 

Post # 111
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Just adding my little bit here. I was 19 when we got engaged, I am 20 now and Fiance is 24 now. We are getting married June 2014 and most people have been supportive! Random people who don’t know us have said some rude “all knowing” comments but those who know us have been really supportive!

Get ready to hear some not very nice things and be prepared with how to answer them. Don’t be rude, show your maturity and just say “FI and I have spent a long time talking about these topics and feel that we are ready.” or “we do know about the statistics but we like to think positive, thanks for your advice.” 
Or…. you can just smile and nod if you know the person is confrontational.

Best of look to you and your man. You will be fine. Don’t worry about what other people think (…too much! I know it’s hard to avoid). It sounds like you have the support of your families and that is what is important! It also helps that you have known each other for some time. 🙂

Post # 112
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think being married is only important if you plan on having kids.  I am close to that point, which is why I’ve decided to marry my SO.  Marriage is all about having perfect timing.  

Post # 113
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Courthouse

I got engaged at 19, but it wasn’t my age that ruined it. It was the guy I was engaged to. Now I’m 21 & engaged and it’s the best because I’m with the right person:)

Post # 114
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@Washingtonian:  out of curiosity, do you think people who don’t have children have unimpotant marriages? There are many legal benefits and protections involved with getting married.

 

Post # 114
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

OK, so I’m 19 and I am engaged. Do I think it’s too young? Of course not. I’m an adult. It’s my life and I decide what I do with it. No, I’m not as mature as I should be and I still live with my parents instead of my fiance, but I do have a job and so does he. We’re working on our lives. Why should you care what others think anyway. It’s your life not theirs. If they don’t like it they don’t have to be in it. Do what you feel is right. Listen to your heart because it’s never wrong.

Post # 115
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
pinkladynia:   this thread is 2 years old. OP is most likely loooong gone

Post # 116
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I was about that age when I got engaged (was about to start my final semester of college) and I never had anyone say anything rude to me about it.  DH and I had been together for 3.5 years at that point, and everyone assumed we would get married after we graduated, so it was a logical “next step” for most people.  I think as long as you’re not in any big rush to run down the isle, there’s nothing wrong with it.  5 mo after we got engaged we graduated, another 7 months (or about a year after) we bought a house, and another year later we got married.  If anyone had a problem with it, they kept it to themselves.  

3 years later, we’re now expecting our first child together.  I don’t really care if anything took issue with our relationship/marriage because I knew it was the right step for us and we had our parent’s/family’s blessing, so nothing else mattered.  

Post # 117
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

View original reply
chantellet94:  my grandparents got married at 18 and 19 and are still going strong 52 year later. Everyone has their own opinion. If you feel he is the one and you are ready to make that commitment then go for it

Post # 118
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

This thread is years old. She’s either married or not, but I doubt she really cares what we think anymore

Post # 119
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2020

It’s quite normal to get engage and marry before 24/25 in where I was from, while the devioce rate remains low. >26 years old single women are considered to be spinsters.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  stefhtwg.
Post # 120
Member
728 posts
Busy bee

Me & my fiance were 20 when we got engaged. Had been together about 4 years & were already living together. Our parents were fine with it, but people did make comments. The “oh well I hope the weddings not too soon” or “ya’ll are waiting until you graduate college right?” Right, because as soon as we get married we’re gonna start popping out kids & everything will go to shit?? I mean people weren’t TRYING to be rude but essentially if you think about their comments that’s what they were saying. I don’t think 19 is too young to get engaged or married. It sounds like ya’ll are stable, self supporting, & have been together awhile. I don’t see how its better for someone who’s 30 & has been together 6 months to get engaged versus someone in ya’lls situation. I don’t really comment on people being sceptical to us, in 10 years when we’re still together that’s answer enough

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by  anonbee4321.

The topic ‘getting engaged at 19’ is closed to new replies.

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