(Closed) Getting engaged blues

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
339 posts
Helper bee

I skimmed through some of your old posts to kind of get an idea of what was going on…I just want to say I’m really sorry about everything.  I don’t know how old your SO is but he definitely just doesn’t sound like he is ready to commit or even grow up.  And unfortunately he is stringing you along with promises he can’t keep.  What do YOU really want?  Are you happy? What do your parents think about not being engaged yet?  If you want to wait it out and think things willl come around that is wonderful.  But if you are trying to convince yourself it’s wonderful and it’s not then maybe you need to worry about yourself and move on. 

Post # 5
1077 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like you need some time to yourself to reflect and think about your relationship. Would it be possible for you to spend a week at your parent’s or a friend’s house?

Story time: My SO acted very flippant/childish about having to rearrange the apartment when I moved in, and it was making me really upset. I’m not the type to speak up, but I finally did and ended up spending the night back at my old place (because I hadn’t moved out completely yet). He called me early the next morning and we had a good long talk. He had realised that he was acting that way because he was nervous and was trying to make light of us moving in together but just came across as a jerk. I know that this doesn’t work for everybody but that one night was so helpful for the both of us to take stock of things.

I wish I could help more, it’s so hard when someone you care so deeply for isn’t being respectful of your wishes. A little ‘fresh air’ does wonders. It’s not giving an ultimatum, but it is showing that your life and needs aren’t all about him and what he wants to do.

Post # 6
339 posts
Helper bee

@weeble78:  has he ever said anything about you being “the one”? Or talked about having commitment issues?  I don’t know that you would know unless you both talked about it. If he didn’t want to stick around I don’t see why he would keep going in a relationship with you that is ideally heading for marriage.  Has he been married or engaged before and it didn’t work out? 

Post # 8
44 posts


I would think a little time apart would help to clear your head Maybe it will make him realise what he’s doing.

He needs a wake-up call!

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