(Closed) getting frustrated that the wedding is becoming more about the guests then us…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you have the right attitude about it. If your family thinks you need to upgrade something, let them know the price and that you will not be paying for it, AND that you are very happy with what you have planned already. I got wrapped up in a competition too, and even though I think we won :), it still adds a lot of unwanted stress. Just focus on your day, and don’t let anyone change what you and your fiance want/have planned.

Post # 4
39 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

You should lay down the law with your parents if you feel you need to. Reject their offers to help and plan things your way. This is more complicated if they are paying.

I would say absolutely DO NOT get married ahead of time if people have already booked tickets/spent money arranging plans/booked vacation time from work.

I wouldn’t want to spend money/vacation days to attend a do over fake wedding. I will attend a destination wedding if I am close enough to the couple, but its also not exactly a vacation for me either. Right now I want to take my next vacation to Morocco but I can’t because I am going to DR for a wedding. So its sort of a holiday, except I didn’t get to pick the place, the time, my travel companions, and the time isn’t exactly my own.

I would not be willing to give up Morocco and not even attend a real wedding. I do not need to pay thousands of dollars to “holiday” with this group if they got fed up with the planning and got married ahead of time.

But definitely do talk to your family about your expectations for the day, and try to guide things that way.

Post # 5
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I totally understand where you’re coming from on this; it can be really easy to get wrapped up in the idea that everything has to be “perfect” and “impressive.” Take a deep breath, and remember that your guests are taking time and money to celebrate YOU and your fiance, and your love, and your future. Your parents need to understand that, frankly, it’s your day. Your guests will understand that the intimate dinner is what you want. Like you said, if they want the whole dancing thing, they can go out later!

I hope you figure things out with your family 🙂

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