(Closed) Getting in a pickle about gifts

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@RainStorm:  I would check out honeyfund, you can customize the list to whatever you want. Charitable donations included. We’ve added a button for contributions to a down payment on our first home, honeymoon stuff, date night options, a night at the movies, a road trip, you can really make it your own and you actually only get money from it which you are not obligated to do anything with.

Post # 4
2326 posts
Buzzing bee

How about setting up a smal traditional registry with the things you would need/ actually use. Sounds like it would Be a small list, so the remainder may actually gift you money which you can keep for a honeymoon when you get the chance

Post # 5
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No, don’t set up a registry, small or big, and don’t ask for donations.


simply say “having you there will be more than enough”. if someone really wants to give you something, they’ll either pick something or give you money.


it is NOT necessary to register or ask for anything

Post # 6
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@bebero:  Yes. This. Please.


I don’t understand why so many Bees think brides should just set up a registry to appease everyone else. Bride after bride has said, “I don’t want a registry” “We don’t need anything.” If you don’t want anything, then don’t register. If you don’t feel right about registering for charity, then don’t.

Just tell people you don’t need anything. Sure, some people will buy you random gifts that you don’t need/want, but you can deal with those as they come. Sell them, return them, trash them. People might give you money, which you can then donate.

Post # 7
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@RainStorm:  I would tell people who ask exactly what you’ve said here. “We have each lived on our own and have too much stuff. We’re actually downsizing to move in together! We won’t be going on a honeymoon since FI is in medical treatment.” Older guests will most likely then give you cash, which everyone can use. 😉

Post # 8
5206 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@RainStorm: make a registry that includes gift cards, and items that will need replacing a few times a year (ie. shower curtains, dish towels, soap dispensers, things of that nature). That way people can give you tangible things besides asparagus dishes and picture frames. 

Post # 9
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

The reason why some suggest still doing a small registry even if you just want cash is that some will insist on buying physical gifts. In that case you want something you can actually use not the dancing gorilla lamp…

Make a small registry of things you can use — replacement towels or sheets, etc. — things to replace what you have now so it doesn’t add to what you are taking with you. People will get the hint when they see a small registry that you don’t need much.

Do not do a honeyfund or anything that remotely asks for cash, It is rude and misleading to your guests.

Also don’t mention guests anywhere. If someone asks you, then you can say, “we are actually trying to downsize so we don’t need much at this time” and leave it there.

Post # 10
384 posts
Helper bee

id do a registry for a down payment on a house or if u already own one maybe to go towards repsirs or something…

Post # 12
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would just do a very small registry of whatver few things you might want/need/you think would be nice to get for your wedding and leave it at that. Everyone else will either do cash/gift cards which you can donate afterward if you see fit 🙂

Post # 13
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Maybe upgrade and get nicer versions of things you already have, like kitchen appliances, towels, or sheets? 

Post # 14
9000 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Just don’t make a registry anywhere. People will get the hint.

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