Getting legally married 2 years before our wedding?!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

My mom and step-dad got legally married in February and then had a wedding in August and it was still very emotional and felt real for them and everyone who attended. Do both if you want to!

Post # 3
Member
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I guess I don’t really get why people do this (a wedding to me=getting married, and if you’re already married then it’s more like a vow renewal IMO). But regardless if you do this I would let people know, I wouldn’t just do it and then let everyone think you guys are still engaged. Not saying that’s what you were planning on doing, but that’s just my advice.

Post # 4
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Why do you want to get legally married 2 years before? I honestly just don’t get your reasoning.

Post # 5
Member
635 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
sunshinebunny :  When the time period is minimal between the legal marriage and public wedding then I think the public wedding would feel more like a wedding.  2 years later it would seem more like a vow renewal/celebration to me vs a wedding and would likely be viewed that way by your guests. 

Could you do a small ceremony and reception this November that you would be happy with?  I don’t understand why you would wait two years to throw a party that isn’t your actual wedding and how it would feel the same after living together as a married couple for two years. 

Post # 7
Member
3343 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Since money is an issue, why not just pare down your wedding and have it on original schedule? No one will consider your vow renewal later as important…..It won’t be, you’ll already be married.

Whatever you do, be honest. If you lie about being already married (even by omission) it will invaribly get out.  You will appear as nothing but an attenion seeking, dishonest, gift grabber….of course it won’t be said to your face but don’t kid yourself, there will be negativity no matter how *wonderful* you think *your*family and friends are……

 

Post # 8
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think 2 years to be legally married and then having a wedding is a bit much. It sounds like you two are very much in love and have been together for some time already, if having a wedding is important to you, just wait to officially tie the knot until then too. I think you’d find if you did a legal wedding and planned an event for two years later, it would of lost its luster and truly would just feel like an anniversary party.

Post # 9
Member
7590 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I guess I just don’t understand why. Why not just wait or why not have a smaller wedding?

Post # 11
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
sunshinebunny :  why can your family not attend for 2 years?

Post # 14
Member
635 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
sunshinebunny :  Can you have a reception near your family after getting married in November so that you can still incorporate them in your celebration?  I’m assuming they can’t attend due to distance.

Post # 15
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

You’re going to get all kinds of answers on here from ones that say to go for it to judgemental ones saying you can’t do a wedding X amount of time after signing the legal papers. You do what you guys want! You guys will know if it should feel special. Other people’s experiences are not yours, so if you’re excited, it’ll be special.

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