(Closed) Getting legally married before wedding.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@shay90:  Go to the courthouse and don’t tell them the date or time.

Post # 4
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If he wants his parents there to celebrate, I would let him have them there.  They have issues that do not allow for them to go on the cruise – I would feel very upset if I wanted my parents at the courthouse becuase of this reason and you would not let me.  It’s got to be hard enough on him as it is…

Post # 5
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I think it’s faaar more important that your FI’s parents are there to celebrate.  I know you’d prefer something just the two of you, but think of how much it would mean to your Fiance.

Post # 6
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MrsWBS:  Agreed.  I would have loved to have had just one wedding, but doing that would have meant excluding my husbands whole family (they needed to wait until it wasn’t high season so they could afford to travel to the USA).  Our wedding wasn’t complete until they were there.  

Post # 7
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s one thing if they just didn’t want to go on the cruise to go to the wedding, but it sounds like they have some real serious and legit reasons that they can’t go. I would let them attend the courthouse wedding so they can still be apart of their son’s big day.

Post # 9
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would say let them go to the courthouse…they have every right to celebrate their son’s wedding in whatever way they can.  Though I’m a bit confused on the bipolar thing…my brother has bipolar and it doesn’t seem like something that would prevent him from going on a trip like that.  He just takes meds, but when he forgets to, its just that he has mood swings—nothing that would prevent him from going on a cruise.  Who knows, maybe it affects people in vastly different ways?

Post # 10
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@honeybeelove: Bipolar can correlate with fears and fixations, and generally make for a difficult personality when uncontrolled because it can affect both cognition and emotion, depending on the case. Sounds like your brother may be high-functioning, and his meds work well, but other types struggle with things that present little or no challenge to most people.

I say your FI’s parents belong at the wedding. Since they can’t make the cruise, and for very legitimate reasons, they should be welcome at the courthouse. Besides, if your FI’s dad stresses him out, wouldn’t it be better if he was with you for a day over the entire length of a cruise?

Post # 12
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@dancindiva:  Thanks for that info!  I have only witnessed my brother with bipolar, so I wasn’t sure how others were affected.  I feel bad for OP’s Future Father-In-Law, but glad that my brother doesn’t have to struggle in the same way.

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