(Closed) Getting married at the same time as a sibling help

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I double check with my brother on wedding planning stuff?

    Yes. He got engaged first and you shouldn't steal his thunder.

    Yes, but only the big stuff like dates.

    No. Don't do anything that you know he's always wanted to do, but you don't have to ask about things

    No. Since he can't give you specifics, just plan the wedding you want.

    Other, explained in the comments.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    View original reply
    @Nostawyn:  Still, that’s really nice of you!  I really like what 
    View original reply
    @lovekiss: had to say.  I think her recommendation is really good.  Just sit down with your brother and ask how involved you two should be in each other’s wedding plans.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2942 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I “jumped the order” with one of my best friends/bridesmaids (we will call her J).  J got enaged about five months before I did. She did not have a date yet when I set mine, but I also knew she wasn’t looking at when I wanted to have mine.  I guess I really didn’t even ask J.  I kind of just did because I actually enjoy planning, where she does not.  J is not into weddings.

    Here is what I would do with your brother though.  Invite him and his Fiance over, go out or cook a nice dinner.  Celbrate your engagements together, but make sure to tell them that you want to talk about how to corrdinate your weddings.  J’s had her Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law do that with her and her Fiance, and I think J’s Future Sister-In-Law was surprised that J did not care that and was totally okay with them having Future Sister-In-Law wedding the month after Js.  You might be surprised by how supportive your brother and his Fiance are about your planned date. 

    I might also bring your parents into the discussion.  J’s FI’s family isn’t contributing to their wedding.  But if your parents are giving a ton of money, they may ask you to give them some time between dates. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @Nostawyn:  My sister and I are planning our weddings right now.  We wanted to get married the same month (which would be insane because most of our family has a five hour plane flight to get there), but I let her have it “because she was engaged first” and felt very entitled about it.  I’m getting married 6 months later- not what I wanted, but my parents requested a 6 month gap for monetary reasons and so it wouldn’t burden our 90% out of state family.  With siblings, there is definitely give and take!  I think it was thoughtful of you to change your colors (though not necessary) and your heart is in the right place.  Have you talked to your parents about a gap between weddings?  Are they contributing financially?  Do you have a lot of OOT family guests?  If not, then your bro can get married in Nov and you can get married in Dec.  It’s actually been great planning a wedding at the same time as my sister, because we both love weddings right now and can talk about them for hours (while some of our friends really don’t care).  Congrats on this exciting time for your family! 

    Post # 20
    Member
    2481 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Colors ? 

    You wanted the same colors and that’s bad ? 

    Post # 22
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I think the only thing you have to worry about is the date especially if people are going to have to travel and if so I think Nov Dec is to close just because I think you may start fighting over guest as times are hard and employers are unlikely to give 2 sets of long weekends off (or more) within 1 month of each other (or at least my boss wouldn’t) and then people might not be able to afford to travel there and pay for a nice hotel twice so close together.

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