(Closed) Getting married before finishing school… what do you think?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 16
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think it really depends on the couple and the situation. Fiance and I started dating in high school 5 years ago. I’ve a year left now of my master’s (which may turn into a PhD, dependent on a research opportunity that just popped up), and he’s got a year of his undergrad left (took an internship for a year). Are we waiting till after all this education stuff is done? Nah – we’re not sure when I’m going to be done, and honestly we just want it to be official already, as we’ve felt like a married couple for a couple years now. It really hasn’t been that stressful between wedding planning and school and work. It’s helped that we’re planning everything now for our wedding in a year, rather than waiting and conforming to a ‘normal’ time frame. We’re also pretty low-key and decisive, so that’s helped. Our wedding will be in a different city, but we’ve managed to make it work. <br />I’m also the type of person that thrives on stress/a long list of things to do – I like having things to occupy my time, lol. 

Post # 17
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Bunni91: I’m getting married in November! I’m in the same boat.. At that time I’ll have a year of school left. I am beyond excited and couldn’t be happier to marry him! I know that he will be helpful and supportive during the schooling! I say do what’s on your heart! I couldn’t imagine waiting another year to get married! 

Post # 18
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Grand Hotel Marriott Resort, Golf Club & Spa

Don’t rush, enjoy you’re early 20’s!! You have all of your late 20’s and early 30’s to plan a wedding! Take your time! I would say take this time while you’re in school to make decisions on important things like venue, photographer, etc. (b/c all this stuff takes TIME). Then when you graduate you will have almost everything planned out and you’ll have your degree beind you.

Post # 19
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Aug 23, 2014

Finishing school was important to me. Fiance is 3 years older, and when he proposed he had finished his Undergrad but I had not. So we set the date for this August!! and I just graduated in May!!

 

But I think it really just depends on your life goals…

Post # 20
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee

It really depends on multiple factors, IMO. How old are they? Are both newlyweds going to be students, or is one already in the workforce? Does the couple in question want a full-blown wedding with a honeymoon, would they prefer to elope at the courthouse, or do they want something in between?<br /><br />If both are still in undergrad, and a wedding is important to them, then I believe that the planning and monetary costs involved could be overwhelming. Besides, if they are in the age range for a traditional undergrad student, I’d say that most people in that age group aren’t ready for marriage. But there are exceptions to every rule, and I find it nearly impossible to generalize relationships.<br /><br />DBF and I may end up marrying before completing undergrad. Honestly, once we’re financially independent and living together, I doubt we’ll see any reasons to wait. I am a second-year student who just turned 20, and DBF will be starting his first year this fall just before he turns 19. But I will add that chances are that we’d elope if we decided to marry in college, so the wedding planning and spending argument would be a moot point.

Post # 21
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think it depends on the realtionship. For me personally, finishing school was important and I am glad that I did — I’ve changed SO much since my undergraduate years. I think your early 20s are a time of tremendous growth, but I know people that have been together since that time and are doing well so it’s hard to say without knowing the couple! Me personally, though? I wouldn’t do it!

Post # 22
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Don’t get married before finishing your undergrad. I can’t imagine a time in my life when money was tighter, stress was higher, time was more precious and the future more uncertain. You have so much time and I think you’ll find that you’re a very different person at 21/22/23 than you are in your mid-to-late 20’s, with totally different priorities. 

As for the master’s degree, re-evaluate your situation 3-6 months after finishing your undergrad, and see if it makes financial sense to marry before or after that phase of your education.

Post # 23
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Do what is best for you!  My Fiance and I are waiting until we finish undergrad, but aren’t sure if we will be getting married before I start my masters or during it.  

Post # 24
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m still working on my undergrad. I took some time off after highschool, and travelled so am going to be 26 next year when we get married. We’ve been together 6 years and it is right in terms of our relationship to get married. I am really looking forward to being married.

One thing to consider, if you aren’t disciplined, it is always way more fun to wedding plan than to do homework.

We’ve been fiancially independant from our parents since we moved in together though. If your parents are paying your rent, car, phone, etc. I can see it being awkward. 

Post # 25
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Please finish school- if you’re going to be together forever then what’s the harm in waiting a short amount of time.

FYI I’ve been with my Fiance since I was 18, graduated and have worked for three years and now we’re getting married. At the time I thought I was ready during college to get married but really I am so glad we waited and have grown together, made sure we’re the one for each other and we are now finanically stable (just bought our own home and we’re paying for our dream wedding).

Looking back, I was nowhere near ready for that when I was still at school (even though I would have sworn blue in the face that I was!)

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  Innerdonught.
Post # 26
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Bunni91:  I’ll be finishing my masters about 6 months before our wedding and my Fiance will also finish another degree at the same time – I don’t think you ‘need’ to but if there’s no rush, I think it’s good to focus on one big thing at a time and give it all your time and energy (if you do have the luxury to do so..)

We’re in our mid-late 20’s and both work full time (in our careers, we intend to stay in these similar fields and continue to work our way up) – we definitely could have got married before finishing but we just wanted to wait so that we’d have the time to enjoy it!

If we were still early twenties I’m quite sure we both would have wanted to wait.

Post # 27
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Bunni91: This is a really tricky decision. 

 

Personally, I wanted to be finished with school when we set the wedding date. We got engaged while I was at university, then set our wedding date in 3 years time to ensure I had graduated.  I guess the reasoning behind it was that I wanted to be working full time in my dream job before getting married. Also I didn’t quite feel like an adult when I was studying.. So I felt silly getting married any earlier lol. I guess we still joke around like kids.. But we have stable jobs, a house and live together comfortably. 

 

Fiance and I are only 23 and get married in October. Our choice to wait was also helpful for us because it has given us a chance to save a lot more with two full time incomes coming in every week.

Post # 28
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I really think it’s a presonal choice. I am getting married this summer, at the age of 23 , but i have finished two undergrad and two masters degrees, moved not to one, but to two different countries and am fully financially independent.

Post # 29
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Do what is right for you and your SO/FI.

I did a Masters degree while my SO went into fulltime work, I told him I didn’t want to be engaged during my studies, because I knew I would be distracted and wouldn’t work as hard as I should on my studies.

If you feel that you can give each part (study and wedding planning) the attention needed to do each well, then go for it. I found my MA really hard to keep concentrated on, so neeeded no more excuses to procrastinate!

Post # 30
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I dont think it’s a problem as long as you can balance both your student and marriage responsibilities. I got married at 23, but I had already graduated uni and started working. I dont think I’m too young..

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