(Closed) Getting married before finishing school… what do you think?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 31
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Bunni91:  It really depends. Fiance and I are getting married in the middle of working on our doctorates, I’ll be 24 and he’ll be 28 at our wedding (2 months yay!) We have been living together and going through school together for 3 years. We’ve found ways to make it work together. It’s hard being in school but it’s helped us see how strong our relationship is despite everything. Certainly, being in such a commited relationship sets limits on career, as we chose to live in the same location, but we are getting great educations. The next step will be finding jobs in the same area, and it may be challenging, but we are willing to make it work and have limited job opportunities because of how important our relationship is. Also we are very responsible with chores, cooking, grocery shopping, etc. So we are really in a place where we are ready for marriage. Soooo it depends. It’s important to evaluate your own situation. Better yet, if you aren’t sure, go talk to a counselor/therapist. They’re neutral about your decisions but they can help you think through the logistics, and you might only need to meet a few times to do that. So worth it!

Post # 32
Member
5364 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Since you are 23, I am assuming you are almost done with under grad. I think it would be okay to get married when you’re that close to graduation. I also don’t think you should wait til after grad school. If you were just starting your undergrad I would think it was a little early, but not if you are toward the end.

I’m 22 and have a year of undergrad left, as does my SO. We have been together for 5 years, living together for 3.5. We’re not your average college couple and I definitely think we could get married while we were still in school, since we are pretty much married anyways besides a piece of paper. On the other hand my friend is 20, just finished her second year and is planning on taking the fall off to have her wedding and everything. I do not think she will go back to school once she is married. I just think it really depends on the couple.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  ksn1219.
Post # 33
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Bunni91:  I would wait until you are finished undergrad, for several reasons. You will not be able to enjoy the planning of your wedding if you also have to burden of studying for your current classes plus trying to prepare for the GREs and applying to Grad school. It will be close to impossible and it could put a serious strain on you and potentially your relationship. Once you are in Grad school though, it really depends on your field and degree program. A lot of people in Grad programs are already married anyways, so that really depends. In addition, I would make sure that getting married won’t affect any financial aid you are currently recieveing, since you will go from your parents’ dependent to a spouse, and both you and your partner’s debt/income will factor into how much aid you will get in the future.

Even if you get engaged before graduating, I would suggest waitint until you’re finished with undergrad before really planning the wedding seriously. You want to enjoy this time and not put any undue stress on yourself and your future spouse!

Post # 34
Member
594 posts
Busy bee

Bunni91:  Honestly, I don’t see a problem with it. My partner and I lived together through college (undergrad for me, grad school for him), and came out just fine. I don’t see why being married would have made a difference; for one, he’s 10 years older than me (mid 30s) and got and though I’m young, I never wanted the college “partying” experience. For some people, getting married during college could work just fine!

Maybe paying for a wedding would be the only barrier? A courthouse wedding or elopement would fix that, though.

Post # 35
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I would wait. What’s the rush?

Post # 36
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

My husband and I got married right after he finished school (I finished a year early).  I was 20 and we was 21.  We have been married for 5.5 years now.  If you are supporting yourself already, then I don’t really see a problem with it.  Every relationship is different and what works for some wouldn’t work for others.

Post # 37
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m getting married in June and I’ll have about  1 1/2-2 years left because I changed my major. He’s graduating in June, but I think it depends on the couple. I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone, but I’m very happy and I know other people who’ve gotten married before they graduate and it’s lasted. 

Post # 38
Member
663 posts
Busy bee

My Dad is pretty traditional meaning my fiance and I weren’t going to move in together before getting married. So we knew we wanted to get married close after graduation. He proposed to me right after my Junior year of college. He had just finished his first year of his Master’s. He asked for my dad’s blessing before hand and my dad said yes as long as we wait until after I graduated. He of course agreed and so that’s what we did. I was planning the wedding all through my Senior year which was fun but took a lot of time, but everything was local since we would be getting married on campus. He finished his Master’s and is half a year younger than me which is pretty impressive but it all worked well for us because our families were happy and therefore super supportive financially, physically, and emotionally with our wedding. Good luck!

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