(Closed) Getting married before marriage… hmm??

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yes me, Were in a LDR also. Were married by papers. when we comes to america he will work for a couple of months and save up some money. and we will get married around septeber. Alot of people get married then do the ceramony latter. I mean do what is best for you and you Fiance. who cares what other people think. I sure dont.

In my town over seas people have HUGE! weddings and i dont want one like that i hate being filled in a room with people i dont even know. Were just gonna have my family his family and relatives and such and thats it, Which is like (200 People anyways!! lol)  Will people talk why we did not do a huge wedding, most likey do i care no. Do what you want.

 

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We’re getting married before our weddings! We’re having multiple weddings because we’re from two different countries, but the biggest reason is that in Korea, the legal wedding is never the ceremony (the legal wedding is a civil matter – the ceremony more of a social matter).  We’re actually not allowed to have our Korean church wedding in the church before we are legally married in the eyes of the State. 

At first I was a little sad because I wanted that ‘everything in one day’ kind of moment, but now I realize that it’s less stressful.  I don’t have to worry about finding an officiant in Canada, and I don’t have to worry about something ‘going wrong’.  I also now feel that the legally of the wedding is less important than the social recognition that we are married – so the wedding ceremonies in both countries WILL be our real weddings.^^  I thought there might be more people in my upset in my family that they don’t get to see the ‘real’ wedding, but I think everyone understands the situation, and we’ve received nothing but support. 

I hope you can find a good solution for your situation!

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@bamm

Yah, us to im going over to my FI/Hubbys country in a couple of weeks to do the “Wedding” for his parents then when he comes here we will do the “Real Wedding” that we will plan for my family and his family thats in america lol. oh well dubble the fun hahah.

Post # 6
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We are getting married on paper next month. We decided it was cheaper, faster, and easier to do a DFC visa than a K1 visa so it is for purely practical reasons. At the ceremony itsself in October we are going to do vows, exchange rings, and I’m changing my name that week so I can be officially announced as Mrs. Hislastname to my friends and family at that time. We are trying to keep our marriage as close to a paper marriage as possible so our big day will be special. I will enjoy calling him my husband from next month on though 😀

As for your situation, if you think it would be more economical and convenient to get married now on paper, I say do it! We are!

Post # 7
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am trying to talk my Fiance into this.. I am self employed and pay $300 a month in health insurance, and if we went to the Justice of the Peace and got married secretly, I could get on his work health insurance for only $80/month.  For our year and a half “engagement,” that’s like $3500 we could put towards the wedding! 

Post # 8
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We did this because I got laid off and needed insurance! I don’t regret it for a second. I got on his insurance, our car insurance went down, we got that stuff out of the way before the wedding.

The only thing I don’t get is why, in your situation, you need to get married? I feel like I’m missing something- would it be the insurance?

Post # 9
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We are doing our civil ceremony next week and our wedding will be April 10th. He is going into the Army and leaves April 12th. We wanted to make sure we have the paperwork, particularly my social security card with his name on it, done before he goes so I can move with him following basic. The only complication with this is we are Catholic and are having a Catholic wedding. Luckily we have an understanding preist who knows this is a special case and allowed us to do it. My advice to you would be if you are having a religious ceremony make sure you check with your officiant before you are legally married.

Post # 10
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We’re probably having a civil ceremony in a month or two, then a “real” wedding in September, but it’s for visa/immigration reasons (FI is here on a student visa, which is due to expire in December, and getting the paperwork processes can take ages).

Like kjpugs, I’m confused–why would you need to get married at all before your planned wedding? Why couldn’t he just move in with you for a little while before your wedding?

Post # 11
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We are getting married April 17, 2010, and having our reception July 24, 2010.  Initially we were going to get married right before our picnic reception but my stepdad is ill and I want him to be able to walk me down the aisle.  I am currently a temporary employee, and my contract will end in June, so I will be able to get on my fiance’s insurance when I need to.  Before my stepdad became sick (which was very sudden) we were just going to get married because I lost my job and did not have insurance.

My friend got married on paper so she could stay with her husband, who is in the military….they had a “real” wedding a couple years later.

Post # 12
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We’ve been (secretly) married for nine months and our wedding is May 23rd.  I have no regrets about marrying him legally before we had the big wedding.  Doing this also helped us save for the big wedding because he got on my insurance and quit paying for it privately, our car insurance went down and we moved in together so now share expenses we were both paying for living alone.  All of that extra money has gone into our wedding fund. 

Post # 14
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

When you get married the first time around and complete the legal paperwork, that will be your real wedding. Anything afterward is a renewal of vows. You can call it anything you want but that doesn’t change the true definition or the fact that you cannot get married twice to the same person.

Post # 16
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@serabell, a friend of mine is arranging something similar for her daughter who eloped to the courthouse. No one else was able to attend or witness the ceremony, not even the parents, but the girl’s parents are hosting a huge renewal of vows that they are calling a wedding. Nearly everyone is biting their tongue because they don’t feel comfortable with the idea of it being called a wedding when the kids are already married.

The topic ‘Getting married before marriage… hmm??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors