(Closed) Getting married before the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

1. No

2. No

I’m getting legally married a week or so before my shceduled “wedding” because we are haivng a stricly religious service on November 12th. The officiant that marries people typically has the legal rights to sign the document, that is why its usually done in one shot.

Most countries only recognize legal marriages. We just make a wedding day out of it 🙂

I won’t be telling people and I don’t consider myself married until I vow under God in public with my Fiance. The court house is just paperwork.

So you can do the paperwork before or the day of! It depends on your preferences and officiant.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

1. no, i wouldnt be offended at all

2. yes, i would like the couple to be honest and tell me they are already legally married and that this event is a vow renewal or marriage celebration

Post # 6
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@eloping: I didn’t think the courthouse recognized God- Why would it be a vow renewal?

Post # 7
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my definition is if you are legally married. if you were to drop dead the next day or week after the paperwork/legal marriage would the authorities consider you married, the answer would be yes. not saying the religous ceremony isnt important to the couple but by that point its only a ceremony and not for any other legal formality

Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

1) no

2) no. I have no problem celebrating it like a wedding, but its a blessing of the vows and a marriage celebration.

This is a personal thing, but I do find it weird if someone is married and they do some of the traditions, because they don’t apply since you are married already legally, and legally is what matters in the law and courts eyes (the reason you are getting more financial assitance). Like first dance and the first kiss, bridal bouquet etc. It no longer seems right. Mother/daughter etc and cake cutting seem more appropriate  (edit: weird, not insulted or “tacky”, but enough so I would comment on it)

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@galloway111: because im curious, between your legal marriage and your reception will you be living together? having sex?  

Post # 11
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My Fiance and I talked about this also ( after yet another mental breakdown in the finincial aid office).  We decided that it would not feel right to  US to be married with out being ‘married”. It also depends on what year you are in in school. I also have obnoxious debt, but there IS good news.  Depending on what your profession is, once you get a job and begin paying off your loans, if you are in the private sector all of your loans get forgiven after 25 years. and if you are in the public, ( teaching, doctor,) they are forgiven after 10.

This knowlage is the olny thing keeping me from freaking out over a wedding budget.

Post # 12
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@eloping: gotcha!

 

I guess I should rephrase as not to confuse the general public – I’m having a ” Christian” Wedding, so I won’t be marrried until the traditional ceremony and my family won’t consider the paper work exclusively as official. Everyone has different expectations and beliefs!

It really depends on what your desires are and what you hold true to your heart. Talk it over with family and friends.

Post # 14
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We did this for various reasons.

Talk to your families first. They are the ones who you CARE if it hurts them. They are also the ones who will support you through the awkward “this is my husband, we’re not really married yet” stage.

Tell the important people. And no, it is not a vow renewal, it is still a wedding. For me and my husband, we have our “paper marriage” and our “wedding day” to us, the religious wedding is the real wedding.

Everyone has different opinions about this. Make sure you go with what is right for YOU TWO and you two will have to live with this decision your whole life. Everyone else only deals with it when they first hear, and then at the religious ceremony.

Post # 15
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

The stafford, perkins and plus loans all go away. Salliemae you can talk in to AKA Bully in to giving you a fixed payment ( mine is $25 a month). Also if you have medical issues contact your finnaical aid office and barring that the actual loan providers. There is a chance that they will defer you loans because of your illness/ if you lose your job. Also if you have returned to school full time, your loans should again be defered. If their not go talk to Fin. Aid.

Post # 16
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My guy and I are legally married–and will be so more than a year before we are publicly “married”–we have only told a select few people and no one finds it weird or offensive.  Maybe we’re blessed with accepting friends and family. 

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