(Closed) Getting married but no place to live–anyone else experience this?

posted 6 years ago in Home
  • poll: Should we look for a place right away?
    Yes, start looking now : (38 votes)
    93 %
    Just wait until after you're married : (3 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    5423 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think you should be proactive into looking into a place to live.  The timetable isnt as big a deal depending on if you want to rent vs own.  I have friends that married and lived apart up til the day after thier wedding, but they always had some sort of plan lined up.  Living apart and being married just doesnt seem like it goes together, with the exception of military of course.

    In our case, we dont live together by choice, been together 8 years.  We have been house hunting since February and intend to co habitat prior to our wedding in 5 months as well.  I really do think you need some sort of plan.  The closer to the wedding, the harfder it will be to do a lot of things.

    Post # 4
    2606 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Start looking now, especially if you’re thinking of buying a house. You’ll need pre-approval, you’ll need to find a place and make an offer.  IF it gets accepted, you’ll need to close…and that can take a while, too.  If you’re looking to rent, it could still take a while to find a place you both agree on and in your price range.  So it would be a good idea to start the process now.

    Post # 5
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We will have been living together for over a year by the time we’re married.  You could always look at places now and set it up so a lease starts (if you’re renting) right around the wedding.  Then one of you could live there up until the wedding, if you’d rather not live together before you’re married. 

    Post # 7
    46672 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would want to have a place that we can move in together after the wedding.

    Although it’s too early, I would at least familiarize yourselves with the market in your city so that you will have some idea what is available.


    Post # 8
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I closed on my first house 2 weeks ago today, and the wedding is in 6 weeks.  Totally do-able, just stay busy and keep chipping away at the to-do list.  5 months is enough time to buy a place, that’s just about the timeline I fell into.  It’ll take at LEAST 2-3 months once you make an offer.  Most people find their own houses online (I was zillow.com obsessed!), then just need the agent to take them through the process.

    Post # 9
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If you can’t move in together before the wedding, then I would set my sights on renting rather than owning for your first place together. Check the rental market where you live; where I live, it can take way more than 5 months to find an apartment in a decent neighborhood that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, but I know in other parts of the USA, you can get a nice apartment at a great price on the first day you go looking.  Keep an eye on the classifieds and various rental websites, see how much selection is in your price range, and try to get a feel for how long things stay on the market.

    If it were me, I’d want to set up the lease to start on the first of the month before the wedding; this would give time to gradually move a few things into the apartment but not make me spend a ton of money on rent for somewhere I didn’t live. Perhaps either you or your fiance could move in before the wedding and set up housekeeping— you will need a bed at the least, and dishes and table and such, so you can start as a couple right after the wedding without having to actually do the moving and hauling when you’re barely out of your wedding clothes.

    Post # 11
    214 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I wouldn’t wait until after the wedding to start looking – you will want to have a place to call your own with some peace&quiet (and alone time with your new husband!)

    Post # 12
    2606 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @rurahrah:  Most people find their own houses online (I was zillow.com obsessed!), then just need the agent to take them through the process.

    The problem we ran into with this was several of the houses we were interested in already had offers accepted, but the website(s) had not been updated.  A realtor will be able to send you a link to MLS listings that is updated multiple times per day.  When a new listing is added that matches your criteria, it will be on this website for you to view.  Once an offer is accepted, it will tell you that, too, so you don’t waste your time pining for a house that is unavailable.

    Post # 13
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If you are both renting now, when do your current leases end? Can one of you move in with the other and sublet the extra place? That way you could live together right away, but still put off looking for a new place until after the wedding.

    Post # 14
    96 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I voted for you to wait. I guess I’m the odd man out, but just based on my stress level with work and wedding planning and other stuff going on, I would not want to throw finding a place to live into the mix.

    On the other hand, I definitely wouldn’t want to live apart after the wedding. I didn’t want to live apart before the wedding – so we bought a house together almost two years ago. But with just 5 months to go, I see no reason to rush into a lease or purchase agreement just so you have the same roof over your heads on your wedding night. You could start browsing and just kind of see what happens. Also, what’s his take on this? Does he want to start looking or does he want to wait?

    Post # 16
    607 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Are you both living with your parents now? Would it be possible for one of you to move into where the other one is living? That’s not something I would personally do, but I’d rather do that than not live with my husband after the wedding. Most people I know who didn’t live together before their weddings moved into a place that one of them already had (most were renting, since we live in a city with crazy expensive homes). That’s what I would recommend, then search for your dream home later.

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