(Closed) Getting married by Judge ruin wedding ceremony?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I can tell you from my experience that getting married at the courthouse was romantic and wonderful, even though it wasn’t fancy or anything. I’m not sure it’ll ruin the magic, per se, but are you really okay with pretending to NOT be married when you really are? I guess if it were me, I’d have more of a problem with ignoring the husband-wife bond for six months than the possibility of ruining any sort of thrill at the big ceremony…

Post # 4
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

As someone who is in the middle of the pretending period…I think it will be fine.  We got married by a judge on 10/08 and our wedding ceremony isn’t until 2/04/11.  We did it for insurance reasons…I lost my job and needed insurance, and since we were already getting married overseas, we decided to just do it.  While the ceremony with the judge was real and meaningful, I think the ceremony that is shared with our families will be special on its own.  Our families don’t know that we are married, so its easy to live life as still being engaged. 

As for how you will feel in front of the judge…I was as giddy as I’m sure I’ll be on our “official” wedding day.  Also, it was nice because I didn’t have anythign to worry about since it was just me, FH and my bestie to witness!

Post # 5
584 posts
Busy bee

I’ve heard of quite a few people choosing to do a second ceremony, particularly military couples. It’s YOUR day, so if you want a second ceremony then I say go for it! If you’re still treating each other as unmarried up until the second ceremony, it seems like it would still be a really emotional time for both of you, so I don’t think it would necessarily ruin the magic. Think of it as a celebration!

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Fiance is also in the military, and we have decided to do this for multiple reasons.  He’s currently in Iraq, so we will be getting married at town hall when he comes home on leave in March, and then we will have our big ceremony with friends and family In November as planned. We are in the middle of booking things for the wedding now. We have only told my parents, and we have decided to keep it to ourselves and still act engaged, which should be easier with him being overseas, but I’m sure that we’re still going to feel different.  The way I see it though is that it won’t take anything away from our big ceremony with family and friends.  We’ll be able to celebrate with just the two of us in a relaxed, no stress ceremony, and then again with all of our friends and family present. Personally, I would marry Fiance every day for the rest of my life if I could, and this way we get to share that special moment twice. I say go for it, a lot of military couples do.

Post # 7
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We will have been married for a year when we finally have our ceremony.  I am very very excited as is the FH.  He has been going over ceremonies all week and planning our budget plus suggesting more food and stuff etc.  (I really need to keep him off WB, LOL).  So having the excitement is all in how you go at it.  To us, our wedding will be in front of God and family, not the legal stuff.

Post # 8
439 posts
Helper bee

I think we’re probably going to end up getting married by a judge the day before our wedding.  We really want FI’s brother to officiate our actual ceremony, but apparently, it’s really difficult to have someone ordained just to do a marriage ceremony in Michigan.

Fiance thought you HAD to get married at the courthouse the day before your wedding, anyway, so this isn’t a big deal to him.

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