(Closed) Getting Married – Family Drama – Indian Wedding.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
5946 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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fishnet786:  Well, I don’t know that I’d be helpful since I’m American and take the attitude of, “Screw your family, who needs them if they’re going to be like that!” BUT I do realize in other cultures that isn’t an option. Do you have to have a traditional wedding? Can you elope? Do you know that her family “needs” to meet your family? You said they didn’t seem to mind earlier in your post. I’d stop helping my family immediately. They seem to use you. Unfortunately we don’t get to choose our family. Why are they so opposed?

Post # 5
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

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fishnet786:  As for your parents – 4 years can change a lot… give them a chance to have changed their minds on the relationship.  I know my mother in law really didn’t like me in the early years of my relationship, but over time she accepted me, and in the past 3-4 years we’ve even developed a good bond betwen us.  We’re not “besties” but she accepted that I wasn’t going anywhere and instead of pushing her only son away by disliking his wife, she learned to adjust and found the positives in me and our relationship and embraced that.  

As for no one else stepping up financially now that you’re getting married, this is something you need to get over QUICKLY.  No one is obligated to help you.  You chose to help your family members, and that’s great, but unless it was agreed to be a loan, like brother #2, then it was a GIFT and you don’t get to expect something in return now that it’s “your turn”. 

As for the loan to your brother and his wife’s attitude.  Have you considered they don’t have the money? That they can’t afford to pay you back, and that she’s embarassed about that.  If someone had given me money and wanted it back and I didn’t have it (especially in an emotionally charged state like a funeral) I would probably avoid talking to them in front of other family and friends for fear of further embarassment.    

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